I was born to be a mother, how stupid I was.

I was told since I was a kid I was born to be a mother. I love kids, I was in charge to babysit my cousins, I babysit other kids from the neighborhood, I was very mature and responsible as a kid, I was a model for both my family and neighbors.<br><br>When I grew up, I had the sex life I was looking for, I was proud to say I waited a lot years to lose my virginity. I was so proud to have been responsible, I never allow myself to have ONS. I was in a relationship for 8 years, my partner was amazing, he was either looking for a long relationship.<br><br>I was in love with him and I wanted to be pregnant from him. I was looking for a very big family as my mother had. When I was 26, I was so proud to announce my first pregnancy. Being 3 months pregnant was for me an announcement to the whole family. I wanted to be a mom so bad. I was looking to give our baby everything I never had. I either wanted to be a great wife as my mother was. <br><br>But our baby died either at the end of the second trimester. I lost either my baby and my partner. We both were so suffering from the loss our baby we broke up. When I felt either better I started to realize I was not looking to be a mother. I was looking to be a better mom than my mother was. I was looking to be a better wife than my mother was. I wanted to be better but I was not looking to be a mother. <br><br>It was a big mistake to say I either was born to be a mother. I am not. I wanted to be pregnant either by revenge. And my mistake was big. But I will not give up. I will be either better. I am not a mom but even so I will be better.