Posted a message about a trial drug for depression and here's what happened

When I posted about the drug which I think is Ketamine it's a trial drug for depression and anxiety. All of a sudden I can't get anyone's attention other than a woman named Barbara and her cousin Janet. Nobody tries to help or ask me anything about it. All they say is that I'm a person that doesn't belong and it's not for me. Which is not true. I am depressed and glad I see a specialist and he said he would start me on a drug. I thought he was going to give me trial drug or something and I ask him if that's what this drug is and he doesn't answer me. He just looks at me and says it's something similar. All of a sudden I get messages from other people, even a message from a moderator and the moderator tells me that I'm not eligible for the drug. Again claims that I'm not depressed and that I just want access to it to get high and feel good. Now I'm not happy. I'm already vulnerable and then people are making me feel like I'm not a part of society. Or that I'm not good or smart enough to get this drug. It seems no matter how hard I try I'm never going to be good enough. I'm never going to be a part of anything. I'm not good at anything. I don't know what to do. I just feel like I want to kill myself.