How do I (28F) break up with someone when I’m their (31M) everything?

My partner and I have been together 8 years and have 2 kids together. I am his only friend, his main priority, his go to for help and support, his affection person, and his confidant in everything. I am his “person”. I want to leave him but I’m afraid of ruining his life.<br><br>He’s a very shy and introverted person who is not a social person. He only has one friend, and it’s me. I know he’s very dependent on me. He’s emotionally intelligent and fairly self aware, but I know he doesn’t see that he is so codependent. I would say he does have development delays, but I don’t think it’s enough to warrant a diagnosis. He’s mostly capable of taking care of himself, but not completely. With that being said he works very hard to take care of our family. He’s a hard worker, a good provider, and would never lay a hand on me. He would starve himself to death if it meant feeding me and our kids. <br><br>However, I am exhausted. I am so tired of being his everything. I’m tired of having no one else to turn to. I am the parent, the mother, the homemaker, the cook, the cleaner, the teacher to our kids, his confidant, his best friend, his therapist, his date, his affection person. I’m tired of being his only confidant, tired of him telling me details about his bowel issues and his skin rashes. Tired of him telling me that he feels depressed but then I don’t know what to say. Tired of having to go out of my way to plan dates or surprises. Tired of him not initiating anything. I’m tired of him not being able to show me any grand gestures or being able to see through my struggles. I’m tired of him not affectionately showing me love or touching me. I’m just tired of him. I don’t want to be his everything. I am desperate for help because I don’t know what to do. I feel guilty in wanting to leave him, because he would never treat me bad, but I do know that this relationship isn’t good for me. <br><br>I want to know how I can help him develop emotional maturity and social skills, or get him to understand he’s codependent and that I’m not happy. I feel like he is so codependent, I can’t leave him because he would fall apart. I also don’t want to leave my kids to see their dad fall apart. I feel trapped and I feel like I’m ruining him by wanting to leave.<br><br>TL;DR I [28F] want to break up with my partner [31M] because even though he’d never harm me or the kids in any way, he doesn’t know how to show me affection and I don’t like being his everything. However, I’m afraid that if I leave him he’ll ruin his life.