My husband admitted he was addicted to porn and I'm devastated

35 F, married 8 years, together 13 years. My husband and I have 2 kids ages 3 and 5. I'm a part-time stay at home mom and he works from home most days. We are best friends and I thought our marriage was perfect or close to it. <br><br>He's always been an open book about his past with me. He told me years ago he used to have a serious porn addiction in college, especially after his mom passed away after a long battle with cancer. He said he received treatment and it was under control.<br><br>Three weeks ago, he admitted to me that he has relapsed with his porn addiction. When I asked him for how long, he said "it's been a while". He said he fell into old habits during the lockdown when I was watching the kids 24/7 and he decided to go back to what comforted him in hard times. <br><br>I had no idea he was even looking at porn. I thought our sex life was normal, a little less frequent than it used to be (we have kids, I get it). But I have no idea how much he was looking at porn in the last 1-2 years and how it affected our marriage.<br><br>He said he was in therapy for the last two months to deal with it and he told me because he wanted to be open with me and not continue living a lie. <br><br>I'm devastated. I feel betrayed, lost, and confused. I don't recognize my husband anymore. He's been nothing but transparent and honest during this process. He's been open with everything, how much he was looking at it, how it affected him, the trigger that caused the relapse, everything. He did a porn detox and has deleted all the apps and extensions from his phone and laptop. <br><br>I don't know what to do. I want to understand and I want to help him. Other than this, he's such a great man, husband, and father. I love him so much and I just want to get us out of this crisis. I'm seeing a therapist too, individually and together, but I'm still so hurt and unsure.