My (M22) girlfriend (F21) thinks we've been breaking up for three weeks.

We had a massive fight three weeks ago, and I said things that I can't take back, things like "I want to break up" and "I don't love you anymore". Now I want her back, but she thinks we've broken up, and I don't know how to reverse it.<br><br>We had a massive fight one Sunday morning three weeks ago. It was a stupid fight that started over me making eggs, and escalated to herfixtures that she never gave me a Valentine's Day gift in the 3 years we've been dating, and ended with me saying things that I can't take back. Things like "I want to break up" and "I don't love you anymore."<br><br>I don't really remember what happened, because I was in a rage blackout fueled by my bipolar disorder, but I remember her saying that I couldn't take it back, that she was done with me, and that she didn't love me anymore. I don't think she said it in anger, because she was always calm and rational. Then she left to go back to her apartment and I didn't hear from her for 3 days.<br><br>On Wednesday, I sent her a text saying "Can we talk?"<br><br>She replied "I'm done. Sorry."<br><br>I said "I was angry and upset and my mental illness flared up... I realize I was in the wrong and I want to work it out."<br><br>She said "No thanks."<br><br>I said "Please."<br><br>She said "No."<br><br>I said "You're really going to end our relationship over this fight?"<br><br>She said "I'm not doing anything. You ended it on Sunday."<br><br>We texted a bit more, but it went nowhere.<br><br>On Thursday, I gave her a call and left a voicemail. She didn't call back.<br><br>At this point, I was starting to really panic. I was starting to lose her. I wrote her a letter and dropped it off at her door. I said that I was stupid and angry, that I didn't mean it, that I was acting in the heat of the moment. I said that she was the love of my life, that I was so much better with her than without her, that she was my best friend. I said that I couldn't imagine living without her, that my life was empty and barren without her.<br><br>I said all this and more, and she didn't call me back. I was starting to really panic.<br><br>On Friday, I went to her workplace and tried to talk to her, but her boss said it was inappropriate and asked me to leave. I tried to call her all day, but she didn't answer and didn't call me back.<br><br>I was starting to lose her. I was starting to lose my best friend and the love of my life. I didn't know what to do. I was desperate.<br><br>So I went to her front door and tried to talk to her. She wouldn't let me in and she wouldn't talk to me. We stood in the hallway and talked for 10 minutes. She looked beautiful, but sad. I was sad too. I was afraid I was losing her. I was begging her to take me back. I was telling her that I loved her, that I wanted to work things out, that I would do anything to make her happy.<br><br>"I'm sorry," I said. "Please give me another chance."<br><br>"I'm sorry too," she said. "But I'm not your girlfriend any more."<br><br>I kept pushing the issue. I didn't want to leave without her. At one point, I said "You're my girlfriend."<br><br>"When?" She said. "On Sunday, you told me you weren't my boyfriend any more."<br><br>I didn't know what to say. I had no response.<br><br>"I miss you so much," I said.<br><br>"I don't feel anything for you," She said. "And if I'm being honest, I'm not the girl you fell in love with any more."<br><br>I was starting to lose her. I was losing myself. I was empty and hollow without her.<br><br>"I'd do anything to have you back," I said.<br><br>"I'm not your girlfriend," She said. "And I'm not going to be your girlfriend again."<br><br>I had no response. I turned my back on her and walked away.<br><br>I haven't seen or talked to her since.<br><br>This was all three weeks ago. I haven't seen or talked to her since. I miss her so much. I cry all the time. I don't know what to do. Every day, I feel like sh**. I feel like a failure. I feel like a loser. I feel like I killed the best thing that ever happened to me. I don've even want to live any more. I just want her back. I want to tell her how much I love her. I want to hold her and comfort her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her.<br><br>How can I get her back?<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>TL;DR: I told my girlfriend I wanted to break up in the heat of the moment, and now she thinks we've broken up.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>Edit: For everyone saying that I'm mentally ill and that's why she's leaving me... That's not true. She knows I have a mental illness. She has one too. We've been open with each other since the beginning. And she never had a problem with it. In fact, she's the only person who's ever made me feel better when I'm having an episode. She's the only person who can calm me down and make me feel loved and comfortable in my own skin.