Probably the most depressing thing I've ever heard from my students

Senior high school teachers here. I teach mainly grade 10 but also have one grade 9 class. This is Taiwan.<br><br>Anyway, this is a pointless vent because no one here knows what to do about it, and quite frankly I'm not over the holiday season yet. <br><br>A little backstory that is related: I teach at a vocational high school where there are different departments and not everyone gets to choose which department they go into. <br><br>We have a few departments that are "undersubscribed" and students who score lower on the national senior high exam are often placed in these departments. So I have a lot of students who score lower in English, and are placed in departments that require no English at all.<br><br>The class that this happened in today was one of my 10th grade classes and although it's not a high level class for me, they always participate and laugh a lot. Some of them are sweethearts, most of them are cliquish but I guess that's grade 10 for you. <br><br>OK now on to the story: <br><br>I was going around the room collecting homework that I'd assigned. I'd asked them to write either the name of an exercise that they enjoyed doing, or the name of a sport they enjoyed, or just about anything related to exercise or sports. I asked them to draw a small picture of it and tells me why they like it. <br><br><br>One of my students (let's call him "student A") did not have his homework. I asked him what the hell and he said he'd left it at home. Now, the reason why I collect homework for every student is because if I don't, some of them will not do it, or they will do it for the wrong class, or they'll bring it to me late, or they'll "lose" it. I can't tell you how many times this semester I've had students come up to me with homework that was for the wrong class. <br><br>Anyway. Student A said he'd left it at home and I said that’s not acceptable. He said he couldn't do anything about it. I said that that's not my problem either. <br><br>Then I said, "I'm going to give you a zero but I'll give you a chance to do it while the rest of the class is doing their test." (They were supposed to do a short written test today, which is why I was collecting the homework). <br><br>I went up to my desk and wrote a zero on his homework grade sheet. Student A then said "but teacher why, I did it." I said "but I don't have it, so I'm giving you a zero". <br><br>He said "but I gave it to you". I said "no you didn't". I was 100% sure because I had just collected it and gone through the homework from this particular class. <br><br>I thought at the time that maybe he was telling the truth, but I have 420 students and 24 classes. If I let every single one of my students argue with me about a grade, I'd never get anything done. <br><br>So I insisted that he hadn't given it to me. Then I said, "wait wait wait. Let me go through it again." <br><br>I went through every single students' homework that I had collected for that class, and I didn't find his. Then I said, "I know that I've given you all your homework back, right?" And he said no. <br><br>I went through all of the homework that I had given back to students for that particular class, and there it was. His homework. <br><br>And the reason why I had given it back was because on the very first line of his homework, he'd written "I hate exercise". <br><br>It hit me like a goddamn brick wall. This child hates exercise because I failed him. I made him hate exercise. <br><br>And I don't even know if that's true. Maybe he just hates exercise and blamed me because it's my fault that he has to do it at all, but deep down inside of me I feel like I fucked up. <br><br>This is the world we live in now. I have to collect 20 sets of homework every day for five days a week. I barely have time for a cup of coffee every day and I'm running around like a chicken with its head cut off half the time. <br><br>But still, as a teacher who cares, I should not have given him a zero for no reason. I should not have insisted that he was lying until I'd gone through all of the homework. <br><br>I just feel...I don't know. I feel like I've failed him somehow.<br><br>To add to this, I have students who are like this all the time. I have students who don't do homework. I have students who can't participate in class. I have students who disrupt the class. <br><br>But this kid is none of those things. He does all of his homework on time, he always participates, he's quiet, he uses his English, everyone likes him. He's just a really quiet kid. And I messed up. I fucked up so badly. <br><br>Sorry for the long rant. I just needed to get it off my chest.