From my wife-to-be that just ended our engagement

From my wife-to-be that just ended our engagement. We have been together for years.<br><br>"It's because I don't love you. There is no more intimate act between two people than making love. When you touch me, it feels disgusting. It feels like someone with a disease is touching me. I am not attracted to you, I have not been attracted to you for a very long time. Yet I still invited you to touch me over and over again. You were so shocked when we first made love because I'd never slept with anyone before. You said I was so tight, you even asked me directly if I was a virgin.<br><br>I was. I've never slept with anyone else. I never wanted to. I've been doing it only out of obligation. I was so turned off by you, I couldn't bear to kiss you or let you hold me for years. But I did because I felt I had to.<br><br>I've been going through the motions of this relationship with the intent to marry you for years, so I could see it through to its natural conclusion. I have never loved you, I was never attracted to you. I'm not going to marry someone I don't love. I'm not going to have kids with someone who I can't stand to look at, let alone touch.<br><br>I never wanted to marry you, I just felt I had to. It was my duty to see our relationship through to the end, since I initiated it. But I don't have to marry you. I did not want to marry you. I do not want to marry you. I never wanted to marry you. I never wanted to sleep with you. I never wanted to kiss you. I never wanted to be in a relationship with you. I never wanted to have a girlfriend. I never wanted anything from you.<br><br>I never wanted you."<br><br>That's what she said. We are no longer engaged and soon we won't even be together. I am going to be alone again.<br><br>Am I so unattractive? So repulsive?