My girlfriend's been cheated on a lot. I want to make sure she doesn't feel like she's being cheated on with me. But now I feel like I've ruined dating.

My soon to be fiancé has been cheated on three times. So I make sure she never feels like she's being cheated on by me by telling her everything in her life is completely optional. Doing anything she doesn't feel like doing is cheating her, because she's being forced to do something that doesn't make her happy. And by doing anything like that, I'm cheating her out of being able to do what would make her happier. After a year of telling her it's always completely optional whether she does something or not, she no longer does anything she doesn't want to do when she's with me. So our dates are now just her doing whatever she wants and me hanging out nearby in case she wants me to join her again, like a service animal.<br><br>It's made me realize I was unknowingly cheating her out of hundreds of hours of her free time. Hundreds of hours of freedom to do what she wants, hundreds of hours to pursue what brings her joy. Hundreds of hours of choosing to be with me out of love, instead of because she felt obligated. She's told me she loves dating like this, and she loves how much she loves spending time with me when she has the freedom to do what she wants.<br><br>But it's also made me realize I've ruined dating for her. She says she could never be in a relationship where the other person expected her to spend time with them when she didn't want to, because she's learned how much better it is to have the freedom to do what she wants without obligation. She's learned how languages get in the way of communicating; not because we're speaking different languages, but because language gets in the way of understanding. She's learned that in addition to all the other lies men tell women to make them think they're doing something they're not, men frequently lie about wanting to get to know a woman's soul. That most of the time men don't want to know a woman's soul, men want to know a woman's body. She's learned that doing the same thing all the time is boring, but what's boring is doing the same thing all the time. She's learned that not doing the same thing all the time keeps things fresh, but only because doing a different thing is fresh. She's learned that doing the same thing is boring, but doing a different thing is fresh, until doing fresh things is the same thing you're doing. She's learned doing the same thing all the time is boring, because doing fresh things is boring. She's learned doing a different thing keeps things fresh, but only because doing the same thing is boring and a different thing is fresh. She's learned that she will never find someone she likes better than me, because she will never find someone she likes better than herself. She's learned she will never find someone she likes better than me, because she already loves herself more than anyone else, and she will never love someone else more than herself.<br><br>But most of all, she's learned that she won't settle for anything other than complete and total freedom to do whatever she wants. And I don't want her to settle for anything less.