I used to be a feminist, but I don't think I am anymore

Hi, I found this community a few days ago, and it really resonated with me as I am not sure how I feel about feminism now. Anyways, tread lightly, and please **do not attack me, I am here to learn, and I want to broaden my perspective on the topic.**?<br><br><br>I am white, (partially) cis, and very privileged to have been able to grow up in a mostly progressive household. (other than the fact that my parents sent me to private schools, which are notoriously conservative). My parents always taught me that everyone should be equal in that each person should get the things that they deserve based on their own hard work, and I usually agree with this.<br><br><br>In my eyes, feminism is about women fighting for the rights that men already have. I always saw it as a movement that included men and would allow us to work together to get to the point where men and women are treated equally. I will admit that the way that I saw feminism was probably very shallow; I didn't really delve much into the theory of feminism or read much about it. I just understood it as a basic idea of equality between genders.<br><br><br>However, after reading some of the posts on this chamber, it seems that some of you are not for working towards equality, but instead want everyone who is male to basically go into hiding or even die out, as the gender as a whole is toxic. I just wanted to ask; does this apply to everyone who is male? In other words, are we as women not allowed to work together with our male-identifying friends who are also feminists, or are we just not supposed to work together with hyper-masculine men? How then do we distinguish between the two? I usually don't like to make assumptions about people based on their gender, so I have a hard time understanding how radical feminism works.<br><br><br>Also, one more thing to ask. I read a post in which a user basically said that men do not have a right to a romantic relationship and that they are not meant to have any emotional needs. I am going to assume that this was probably a joke, but it made me wonder, would that mean that a man who identifies as a feminist would not be allowed to date a woman?<br><br><br>I know that radical feminism probably isn't the "right" way to look at feminism, and I understand that it's not the only way that people see the issue of gender inequality. I am not trying to attack any of you radical feminists, or imply that your beliefs are wrong. I am just trying to understand your perspective, as it is very different from my own. **I am not antagonizing you; I want to learn from you.** I hope that this post will start a discussion about the topic of feminism and how it is perceived by different people.