I'm gonna kill myself in 2026 and i won't care anymore.

I'm 17 and currently in my final year of school, i have no gf , no friends, no social life and not a single human connection to anyone. I have no crushes, i don't even look after myself, i have no hobbies, no job nor money, i live a life of someone over 60. I have no plans for the future, my only goal is to get into a good university, finish my degree and get a good job in my field so i can find a gf, settle down and have a happy life, but in reality i'm pretty much nothing without my parents, i'm not even 18 yet and my mental state is fucked, and i'm already planning my funeral.<br><br>The thought of dying is pleasuring, it's something i wouldn't mind, i would just not care about anything anymore, my pain would be gone, and i believe that i would be happy, but it's wrong to think that way, death is a sin, but it's something i look forward to, because i know the alternative is worse.<br><br>I'm gonna kill myself in 2026 because i need to hold onto something, that's why i'm still alive.<br><br>This was my first post on this sub. Thank you for reading, come join me in 2 years.