I (23M) am feeling suicidal right now, and I desperately need to talk to someone (an inbox is good too, if you write back)

I have been a loser my whole life. I was a fat kid when I was younger but I got in shape after my senior year of high school. I am an absolute waste of space with a worthless STEM degree and I am constantly feeling the pressure to succeed financially, but everything that I have done has failed. I am over 23 being a virgin; I have never had a single date with any girl. I got out of high school with 1 friend, and I still do not have any close friends (or a girlfriend). I applied to 100+ jobs last year, and all of them have been rejected except for one that I am waiting to hear back from. I have been job searching for a whole year. I was a cheerleader in high school, but I have not been able to cheer since because I have not joined a team, and I miss it. I have a constant feeling of loneliness and isolation. I don't even go outside much anymore. I cancelled my plans with my one "friend" last weekend, and I am starting to wonder why we are even friends at this point. I am starting to feel like the grim reaper is starting to watch me (I know that sounds weird) but I am genuinely surprised that I have not had a mental breakdown yet. I am not sure how much more I can take. I just don't even know what to say at this point.