Life Before Death (I'm not sure if this is the right sub, but I need a critique. This is a long ramble of how I feel)

Life Before Death (I'm not sure if this is the right sub, but I need a critique. This is a long ramble of how I feel)<br><br>I'm sure I'm not the only person out there who wants to end their life, but thanks to Covid I can't, I guess my government wants to ensure that I can't end my life, but I'm not sure if i want to live yet. <br><br>Life Before Death (I'm not sure if this is the right sub, but I need a critique. This is a long ramble of how I feel)<br><br>I feel lost, and alone, yet somehow I feel like I'm not the only one feeling this way, I want to scream but I'm just another statistic, another person who get's looked over, I get my government wants my vote, and yes, I get that they want to help me, but please they don't care about us, they want 5 years of power, and yes, they will do their best, but we need to learn that politicians are humans too, they will mess up, let's move on from that. <br><br>I want to die, but I don't know how yet, I feel like I'm failing at life, I'm not making my parents proud, I'm not living for myself, and I'm not doing anything for anyone, I want to end my life, yes I feel selfish to want that, but I want that, I feel lost, alone, and I don't know how to move on, I feel like I'm just going through the motions, and that's not living, that's just surviving, I want to live, I want to make my parents proud, I want to do great things, I want to make people smile, yes that means going through the motions, but that's not living, that's not wanting to live. <br><br>I'd kill myself if I could, yes I have tried, but I've failed, I've tried many times, hell my family thinks I'm a burden on them, I don't talk to them anymore, yes they tried to reach out to me, but I've had enough of them, I don't get why they don't understand me, they'd be the best people to talk to, but I don't think they want to talk to me anymore, so I'm alone. <br><br>I don't know, I want to die, and I don't know why, I'm so sick of feeling like this, I want to live, I want to see my parents get married, I want to be a better son to them, I want to make them proud, I want to make them smile, I want to get my first car, I want to go to college, I want to have a first job, I want to go to College, I want to make new friends, I want to go out, and yes, I want to have sex, I want to live a normal life, I want to be normal, I want to see 30, but I don't know, I feel like I'm not meant to be here, I feel like I'm not meant to live, I'm sick of feeling like this, I want to live a normal life, but I don't know, I want to live, I want to make my parents proud, I want to be a better son to them, I want to make them happy, I want to live, I want to make new friends, I want to have fun, I want to be a better person, I want to be happy. <br><br>But I don't know, I want to die, yes I'm sick of feeling like this, yes I want to live, but I want to die, yes I hate thinking about death, but I want to die, I'm sick of feeling like this, I want to die, yes I want to live, but I'm sick of feeling like this. <br><br>I want to die, but I don't know how yet, I feel like I'm failing at life, I'm not making my parents proud, I'm not living for myself, and I'm not doing anything for anyone, I want to end my life, yes I feel selfish to want that, but I want that, I want to end my life, and I don't know, and yes, I want to live, but I'm sick of feeling like this, yes I want to die, i'm sick of feeling like this, I want to die, but I want to live. <br><br>I'm not sure if this makes sense, yes I don't know yet, I feel like I'm failing at life, I'm not making my parents proud, I'm not living for myself, and I'm not doing anything for anyone, I want to end my life, yes I feel selfish to want that, but I want that, I feel lost, alone, and I don't know how to move on, I feel like I'm just going through the motions, and that's not living, that's just surviving, I want to live, I want to make my parents proud, I want to do great things, I want to make people smile, yes that means going through the motions, but that's not living, that's not wanting to live. <br><br>I'm sorry, I don't know what to say, yes I want to live, but I also want to die, yes it doesn't make sense, but that's how I feel, I just want to be happy, I want to feel like I'm living, I want to be a better person, yes I want to live, I want to be better for my parents, I want to be better for everyone, yes I want to live. <br><br>I want to die, yes I want to live, but I'm sick of feeling like this, yes I'm sick of feeling like this, I want to live, i'm sick of feeling like this, I want to live, yes I don't know, but I want to live, I don't know, I want to die, but I also want to live, yes I don't know.<br><br>If you read this, thank you, I just needed to get this off my chest, I guess I just need to let this out.<br><br>Thank you for listening, thank you for being there for me, thank you for just reading this, thank you for just listening.<br><br>I just needed to get this off my chest, I guess I just needed to talk to someone, but I didn't know who to talk to, so I just wrote this. <br><br>I'm sorry, I don't know, I just needed to talk, I just needed to speak, I just needed to let this out, I just needed to do something. <br><br>Thank you for reading, thank you for just being there for me, thank you for just listening.<br><br>I guess that's it.