I had to buy a bra in the middle of the ocean

Good morning, travel enthusiasts! Today I'm sharing a r/AskReddit answer I had written several moons ago, about a bra I had to buy on a cruise. It's too funny not to. **Original Post:** What is something you’ve purchased in front of a sales associate that made them visibly uncomfortable? Good folks of Chambers, I'm not sure about you all, but I have streched my way through cancer, had several major surgeries, and had several major life events that have made me even more disconnected from the world around me than I already was. And since Covid, I have literally become an animal. I don't have to dress for anything since I work from home, so I pretty much don't wear anything. Tonight, my boyfriend and I were going to go swimming. I haven't gone swimming in five years. Five years ago, I had major breast implant removal surgery after having a implant size cancer scare. I lost all of the sensation on the left side of my breasts, which makes shopping for a bra absolutely miserable, since I don't know when anything has "grabbed hold." But with all that said, I'm so happy my breasts are the size and shape they are because I did not die of cancer. I've come to love them, and I'm happy with my size and shape. But even since Covid, I haven't worn a real bra since I've pretty much disconnected from the world. Tonight, when I went to put on a swimming suit, I could literally see through the fabric, and it made me feel mortified. So, I called my mother in tears and told her exactly what she needed to get me. She thought I was joking when I told her that I was going to find a bra with nipples molded to it so that they wouldn't appear through my suit. She asked for clarification, and I told her I wanted silicone molded bra cups with nipples. Yes, you read that right. I wanted a bra shaped like the ones that are supposed to go under ballgowns, except with nipples. It wasn't until the next day when I went to pick up the things she had gotten that I realized she had literally gone to the lingerie store. I didn't realize she had done this until I was looking in the bag, which was literally one of those black bags with the fancy white writing. "Oh, that's the expensive lingerie store! No wonder you left school and spent $40 on a bra!!!" I said, looking at her in shock. She told me that no, she had gotten this for $12. When I asked her where she had gotten it, she literally said "the normal place." I said, "I didn't know we shopped at the normal place!" "Oh, I only go there for the basics," she said. "Good folks of Chambers, I'm literally 32 years old, and my mother has been buying my bras for the last 15 years. You don't need to call CPS folks, but you can call my therapist." We went back to the expensive lingerie store, and I was so humiliated that I was cursing at myself for not asking her to take me with her. When I got home, I unpacked the bra and looked at it in awe. These nipples were perfect. Not too big, too small, too pointy, too rounded. Perfect little nipples on a little bra, all tied up with a bow. Oh, until I got to the last package. I gasped so loudly that my boyfriend thought I had found a rat. "Oh my god," I kept cursing. "I'm going to be the laughing stock of the whole county!" "Why? What is wrong with you?!" he said, trying to calm me down. "I'm going to be the laughing stock of the county!" I kept cursing. "Oh my god, oh my god, OH MY GOD! Why did she not choose the beige?!" "Why are you freaking out?!" he shouted at me. "...Why did she not choose the beige?!" I kept cursing. "WHY DID SHE CHOOSE THE BLACK WITH WHITE SPARKLES?!" Good folks of Chambers, I'm literally 32 years old, and my mother had bought me a bra with molded nipples that were black with sparkly glitter. I started laughing so hard that I literally fell to the floor. Later, I told two of my teenaged nieces about it, and they both fell to the floor in laughter. I'm literally not even mad at her, I'm just so humiliated. I'm going to wear it, but it's going to be the joke of the two counties while we are at the beach. \______________________________________ So, I had literally forgotten about this until my coworker told me she went to the expensive lingerie store and purchased a bra. I told her about my story with the sparkly nipples, and it made me laugh so hard. When I got home, I told my boyfriend the story again, and he laughed so hard. I didn't have time to get food since I have a meeting, so I'm probably going to order expensive food from a restaurant instead. Oh, and guess what? My cancer-free breasts and I are going on a cruise for a teenaged girl's little trip before she moves to New York City. I haven't been on a cruise in 11 years, and I'm super excited to go. Anyway, you guys, thank you so much for the generous upvotes on that story. If I didn't laugh so hard I might have actually been mad at my mom for 30 seconds. And, oh, you guys? There is literally a bra with molded nipples on a cruise ship that's sailing through the ocean RIGHT NOW. You guys, I DIDN'T EVEN GET A TAN.

I had to buy a bra in the middle of the ocean

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