My mom is flying out to visit me for 5 days... and I'm terrified.

Hi all, first off I am a F22 and live in a different country than my mother and father. They separated when I was little, my bio dad has never been in my life, I guess that's why I never felt any hate for my mom. My mom was the only parent I had until I turned 16. I moved away from home for college and we live 2000km away from each other. I go to visit her 4 times a year. She never really dated while I was growing up. Therefore I've never really had a man figure in my life, which has been a small problem for me. I'm not a 30 year old virgin, but I've always chosen people I wouldn't fall in love with and I think it's because I don't want to let a man into my life that way. I also think I have a sort of Oedipus complex because I've been in love with my mom since I was little. I'm not going to go into details here because it's already too much, but I'm so heartbroken that she's never payed attention to me like that, and I guess I blame myself for it. I've always been a very optimistic and happy person, but I'm so afraid of intimacy. I don't know what to do.<br><br>&#x200B;