I [28M] said something to my GF [28F] that is apparently "a reason to break up" with me. I want to know how to explain to her that it was just a joke.

This is a bit of an odd story, so bare with me. I'll try to make it as short as possible.<br><br>For some reason my girlfriend [28F] of two years will sometimes use alternative pronouns. We'll call them she/they.<br><br>So, we were going out to a restaurant over the weekend. I asked her if she wanted to go to the bathroom before we left. She said, "I'm good, I'll go when we get there". I said, "You're good? Both of you?"<br><br>She didn't say anything and just stared at me. She looked annoyed. I thought she was maybe just stressed out about something, but she did end up going to the bathroom.<br><br>As we were driving to the restaurant she said, "I don't like it when you talk to me like that". I said, "Talk to you like what?" and she said, "Like you're talking to multiple people". I said, "I'm sorry, baby, I was just joking around". She said, "I don't like it".<br><br>I dropped it, but as we were eating she kept staring at me. When we were done and driving home she said, "I'm done". I said, "With what?" and she said, "With us". I was shocked, so I pulled over and asked her what she meant. She said, "I want to break up, and I'm moving out".<br><br>I said, "What? But I was just joking around. Why are you punishing me? Is this some kind of joke?" She said, "It's not funny. I'm non-binary. I don't like it when you talk to me like that."<br><br>I said, "But you know I was just joking around, right? I'm not really talking to two people. It was just a joke." She said, "I don't think it's funny". I said, "But I was just joking. If I say 'hello' to you, 'hello' to you, you know I'm not actually talking to two people. It's just a joke." She said, "I don't like it, so don't joke about it."<br><br>I said, "But it's just a joke. You know I wasn't actually talking to two people, right?" She said, "Yes, I know. But I don't like it so don't do it." I said, "But you're breaking up with me just because I made a joke?" She said, "Yes. I don't like it. So I'm moving out and I don't want to see you again."<br><br>I said, "But this is so silly. You're breaking up with me because I made a joke? It was just a joke. I didn't mean it." She said, "I don't like it so don't do it." I said, "But I didn't know you didn't like it until you said something. How would I know not to joke about it if you didn't tell me you didn't like it? So now you're breaking up with me and moving out?"<br><br>She said, "Yes. I'm going to go stay with my sister." I said, "You're breaking up with me over a joke? What am I supposed to say? You have to talk to me about this. If you're breaking up with me just let me know." She said, "I just did. So now I need to go get my stuff." I said, "Fine, but you're not breaking up with me just because of a joke. If you were going to break up with me, you already decided to do it and you're just using the joke as an excuse."<br><br>She said, "I'm not. And I'm not your baby anymore so don't call me that." I said, "So you're really breaking up with me? You're really going to break up with me because of a stupid joke?" She said, "Yes, I am." So I just dropped her off at her sisters house and came home.<br><br>It's been two days and she hasn't texted me or called me once. I thought we had a good relationship. I thought everything was fine between us. The only thing I can think of is that she's mad at me because I make about 3-4 times as much money as her. <br><br>In any case, I don't want this to be over just because of a stupid joke. So I need some advice on how to approach this situation. How do I explain to her that I was just joking around? Or should I just let it go and move on with my life?<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>EDIT: Thanks for all of the advice so far, everyone. Sorry if some of my replies to your comments were a little harsh. It sounds like I might be in a bit of denial about the whole thing. I'll talk to her tomorrow and see what she has to say.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>EDIT #2: I also want to clear up something real quick before you read the next edit. When I said, "Both of you?" in my original post, I was being sarcastic. I didn't say, "Both of you?" and then just ignore her for the rest of the day like some kind of dick. It was just a joke and I was being sarcastic. I said, "Both of you?" and then we talked for a bit. We were joking around the whole time and I was being sarcastic. It was not a big deal. Like I said, it's out of character for her to get so mad at me over a stupid joke. So I don't think this is actually why she is breaking up with me.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>EDIT #3: I went to talk to her today and see what's up. I'm not gonna lie, I'm a little hurt that she thinks I would talk to her like that on purpose. I'm not that kind of guy. I'm a good guy. I would never intentionally hurt her feelings like that. I think she knows that, which is why I'm sure there must be something else going on.<br><br>So, I went to talk to her today. She let me in, but she told me to make it quick. I said, "So this is it? This is how you want to end our relationship? By breaking up with me over a stupid joke?" She said, "It's not a stupid joke. I don't like it when you talk to me like that." <br><br>I said, "But I was just joking around. You know that, right? I wasn't actually talking to two people. How could you possibly think that I was actually talking to two people like that?" She said, "I don't want to talk about it." I said, "But you're breaking up with me. Is that what you really want?"<br><br>She said, "Yes. And I'm moving out so I need you to help me get my stuff out of your condo." I said, "Fine, but you have to tell me why you're really breaking up with me. You're not breaking up with me just because I made a joke. So tell me why you're really breaking up with me."<br><br>She said, "I am. And I'm not going to change my mind so you might as well just accept it." I said, "You're not going to change your mind? But we haven't even talked about it yet. So how do you know you're not going to change your mind? You have to talk to me. You have to tell me what's going on. Why are you breaking up with me?" She said, "I don't want to. So either help me get my stuff out or I'm going to call the cops."<br><br>So that's pretty much how it went. I might have come on a little strong, but man... I'm just so disappointed. I feel betrayed that she thinks I would intentionally hurt her feelings like that. I'm a nice guy. I would never intentionally hurt her like that. I would never talk to her like that.<br><br>In any case, I helped her get her stuff out and now she's gone. I just put all of her stuff outside and called her and told her it was out there. I didn't even help her put it in her car. She was gonna do all of that shit by herself if I didn't help her. I'm not gonna do that.<br><br>So, yeah. It's over.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>I'm not gonna say exactly where I live, but she grew up in a different city. I think she might have only moved here for school or for a job or something. So I don't know if she's still got connections here or not, but I have a feeling she might be moving back to her home town. <br><br>She's been acting really strange lately, so I'm wondering if she might be pregnant with someone else's kid or something. But yeah, I'm gonna miss her. I love her so much. I just can't believe it's over. I feel like I'm in a bit of denial or something, but I just can't believe it's actually over.