"you're cute when you speak"; or, how I learned to stop worrying and love Vietnamese

I'm a 27 year-old American expat in Vietnam, I don't speak any other foreign languages, and I'm not gifted for language learning. But I've decided to learn Vietnamese, and here's why.<br><br>In Vietnam, it's common to hear from locals that speaking Vietnamese is frustrating, that the language is too complicated to learn, too difficult for foreigners, and that it's better for everyone to just speak English. None of this is true.<br><br>For the first year that I lived in Vietnam, I spoke little to no Vietnamese. I studied some basic phrases with a tutor and memorized the names of common foods, but I didn't make any serious effort to progress past that. Vietnamese people would relentlessly compliment my Vietnamese, taking pains to praise me even for simple sentences like "I would like coffee, please". I guess I didn't understand what "speaking Vietnamese" really meant, and I believed that I spoke some Vietnamese.<br><br>The real turning point came when I was in a relationship with a Vietnamese girl who spoke perfect English. She didn't want to bother teaching me Vietnamese, and I didn't bother to push her on it. It was easier to keep everything in English, because we could communicate perfectly well. I thought it was enough that I was making an effort to fit in to the culture. But one day, she was teasing me and she said "you're cute when you speak Vietnamese", and it made me feel so small. Like a little child, a little toy boy who couldn't even speak a real language.<br><br>I broke up with her, in part because I was angry that I had let her treat me like a child. After that, I resolved to become fluent in Vietnamese. It hasn't been easy, but I really want to learn it now.<br><br>And I can already see that it's working. Recently, I was at the airport and I ordered some food from a man who spoke no English. As I was walking away, a local girl (who spoke perfect English) tried to speak to me. I responded in full, perfect Vietnamese sentences, and she was visibly shocked. We chatted for a bit and I learned that she had studied abroad for several years. She was genuinely impressed by my Vietnamese, to the point where I started to feel a little embarrassed. We said our goodbyes in Vietnamese, and it felt amazing.<br><br>Now, I'm not here to be the "white guy who speaks your language and it's so funny". I'm here to speak Vietnamese because it feels like my second home. I love this place. I want to fit in here, to be part of the culture. I want to be able to go anywhere and communicate with anyone, not just people who speak English. I want to speak Vietnamese because it makes me feel like a real person, an adult with a second language, like I can go anywhere and communicate with anyone.<br><br>I don't care if it's difficult. I don't care if it takes years to get there. I will learn this language, and I will speak it like a native.<br><br>**tl;dr a white American expat in Vietnam is sick of losing face over his lack of Vietnamese, so he decides to learn it**<br><br>Edit: wow, this blew up. thank you all for reading, and I'm glad you enjoyed it. just to answer a couple questions:<br><br>- I'm not trying to be fluent in 6 months or 1 year, and I'm not expecting to be conversationally fluent for a long time. my goal is to reach B2/C1 fluency in the next 5-10 years.<br>- I'm NOTcheon this to "impress Vietnamese girls", and I'm certainly NOT doing this to get Vietnamese citizenship. I just want to feel more at home, to learn about the culture and be able to communicate with everyone. don't project your own motivations onto this.<br><br>thank you all again for your support, and I wish you all good luck on your own language learning journeys.