I found my Son's wife.

My son and I have always had a pretty good relationship, we have a similar sense of humor and he's like me in a lot of ways. He and I share an appreciation for chubbier girls, we both think they are really hot. One night I was sitting on the porch and he came out smoking a blunt, he asked if I wanted a hit, I can never turn down a hit. We were smoking and he asked, what do you think really turns me on, I was like oh I don't know, I thought I already knew. He was like, I really love a chub like you Dad. I was like, oh you really like big girls huh? He said I love everything about big girls, how they shake their ass when they walk, how they move around, arms, big belly, fat legs, I love watching big girls move. I was like oh yea, I like a fat arms too, I like big belly also. He said yea that's my favorite, I can't get enough of it. I was like oh ok. He said then one night I found her, I was like found who? He was like the girl I am going to marry. I was like oh ok, where did you meet her? He said I was on tiktok and I seen her, she was dancing to a song, she had a big belly and the hump in the middle made her belly bounce back and forth as she danced. I was like yea that sounds like a big belly, how big was it? He was like this big, so big I could put my fist in the hump, it was so big. I was like oh ok then I asked her to marry me, can I show you a picture of her? I was like yea, he pulled out a picture and there she was, she was so beautiful, big belly, fat arms, fat ass, I was like OH WOW SHE IS HOT!!! <br><br>So then I get a call from my son, he's like Dad, I need your help, I need you to go with me to meet her, I've never met her in person. He was like I need you to check her out, I want you to see if you can get behind it. I was like check her out, what do you mean? He said see if I can get in there, I was like uh yea. <br><br>So I'm like, I don't want to just show up at her house and see if I can get behind it, I really don't want to do that. So he has an idea, he's like if we can find someone she knows, we can have them invite us over to her house. I was like oh ok, he's like you need to find out who knows her. I was like oh ok, so I broke into her house and I looked at her phone, I seen a guy, so I called him, he's like who's this, I'm like, I just really like big girls, I'm looking for a big girl, do you know any? He's like I know a girl that's fat, I'm like OH REALLY, how big is she? He's like, she's really big, I'm like really big like this big, he said oh no, she's bigger than that. I was like ok, yea, so he told me his name, so I looked up his social media account, I found her picture, I was like OH YEA, she is big. <br><br>So I call my son and I'm like oh man, she's big, so he comes over and I show him the picture, he's like, is that her? I'm like yea, I'm like she's big, he's like OH YEA WE GOTTA GET HER. I was like uh, yea. So then he wants me to get in touch with the guy who knows her, I'm like oh ok, so I text him, I was like hey yea I'm interested in your friend, can I show you a picture of my son? He's like yea, I can maybe arrange for you to meet her. I'm like ok, really, he's like yea, I can have you over my house and I'll go get her, I'm like oh ok. <br><br>So he calls me and he's like hey my wife is going to go pick her up, I was like oh yea, they call me back and they're like hey we're back, come over. I'm like ok I'm coming, I get there, I ring the doorbell and I hear a really loud voice, I can't hear what she is saying, but she's like OH MY GOD, did you do this, did you set this up? They're like what's wrong, don't you like us? She's like yea, I like them a lot. So then I hear a really loud voice at the door, I'm like OH SHIT, I'm like this bitch is big. So I open the door and there she is, and she has a big belly, I can already tell. The people are standing up and they're like, don't worry about us, we can show ourselves out. <br><br>So they leave and I'm like, so what do you think of my son, you think you would be interested? She's like, I don't know, she's like I don't know if I like your son, but I like you. I was like oh uh, yea, she's like I'll marry you instead. I'm like OH SHIT, I like OH WOW. So then I get a call from my son, he's like, you're not married are you? I was like uh, yea. He's like what the fuck Dad, you know darn well I wanted to marry her. I'm like well son, she wanted to marry me instead, I'm like she's more my age anyway. He's like well has she tried to get behind it? I was like uh, yea. He's like well did you get behind it? I was like uh, yea.<br><br>Also I'm the security guard at the apartment he's like yea, that's where I want to take her, he's like do you think you could let us in, I'm like uh. He's like I want to get behind it. I was like uh, really, he's like yea. I'm like uh, I really don't want to just let you in her house, I'm like I really don't want to do that. I'm like I'm not happy with you, I'm like you want to get behind my wife, I'm like get your own.