I have a crush on my older brother, and I have felt this way for most my life.

I came here to seek advice on how to deal with this. I am a 22 year old woman, and I have been infatuated with this older brother since I was a child. I am not sure how to describe my feelings, but I have always felt a crush on him. <br><br>I don't know how to feel, my friends tell me to forget about it, that this is not possible, but I am convinced that I am in love with him. That he is the only one who loves me, that he treats me so much better than my parents, that he has always been there for me, despite his drug addiction and his abusive attitude.<br><br>I have tried to discuss my feelings with my family, but they have been hostile, and told me that if I ever pursued a romantic relationship with him, they would cut me off. <br><br>I don't know what is going on in my mind, but I have been obviously nervous in his presence, and I have been trying to build my confidence, just to see what my brother thinks if I ever ask him out. I know it might sound weird, but he has always been the only one who has loved me.<br><br>I know that in most places, incest is obviously not legal, but I just want to be with him, and I don't know what to do. I am not doing this to seek attention, I have built walls over the years and tend to avoid discussing anything with my family. I know I might be judged, or people might think I am stupid, but I don't know how to feel, and I am asking for advice on how to deal with these feelings.<br><br>I just need someone to vent to.