AITA for giving something I was supposed to give my wife to my mother instead?

I have an inheritance from my father that was given to me by my grandmother. My father passed away when I was 8 and my mother was 33. I am 32 now. My grandmother was a traditionalist who believed that sons are to be treated better than daughters. So when my father died, she expressed her desire for my mother to use her inheritance to remarry and start a new life. My mother however chose to stay with my grandmother to raise me and my sister. My grandmother didn't like this so she said she would keep my inheritance and my sister's inheritance (which was the dowry my parents got when they married) and give it to us when we grew up. She gave my sister her half when she turned 18 and told her to use it for college. My sister was kind of bitter about this because it was barely enough for a semester and she would have to take out a loan for the rest. My father was a hard working man and he and my mother saved a lot before he died so they were able to put my sister through college and I didn't have to take a loan for mine either.<br><br>I on the other hand only received my inheritance last year when I turned 30. It was triple what my sister got. Last year my wife and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. For the past 5 years my wife has been supportive of me and my endeavors and she never asked for anything in return. She wanted to celebrate by going on a trip somewhere but I wanted to stay home and just have a party with family and friends because I was tired from work. She knew that so she agreed to my idea but she said she wanted to go somewhere one day. I was touched by her selflessness so when I received my inheritance I wanted to use some of it to buy her a nice piece of jewelry to remind her that I will take her somewhere later. I had to keep this a secret from her so I asked my mother to hide it for me temporarily. My mother accepted and when my sister found out she was mad at me for spending my inheritance and not saving it for the future. I told her it was for my wife and we got into a fight.<br><br>The reason why my sister was mad at me was because she had asked for some money when she was having financial trouble last year and I gave her some. My mother found out and asked me why I was giving her my hard-earned money and I told her I was just sharing my blessings. She was mad at me for not saving for the future and I told her I was capable of taking care of myself and my family. She didn't like my answer so she and my grandmother ganged up on me to give some of my inheritance to them to make up for what my mother spent on my sister and me. I was hesitant and my sister was mad at me for not giving them money and accused me of not thinking about the sacrifices our mother made for us. I got tired of all this so I told them that I used my inheritance to buy a house for my mother and my sister and that was why I couldn't help them out anymore.<br><br>My grandmother was very happy when I told her this and my mother was proud of me for thinking of them. My sister was not but I think she was a little embarrassed that she thought I was selfish when in reality I was saving for our mother. When we went to see the house my sister was very happy and thanked me profusely. I admitted to my mother that the money was for my wife's anniversary gift and my mother was not happy. She said I was being ungrateful for everything she sacrificed for me and my sister by using my inheritance to buy my wife something useless when I could have used it for something important like a house.<br><br>I was very hurt by this because it was my choice how I was going to spend my inheritance. I was the one who earned the money for the house for them anyway and they didn't deserve it. I admit I wanted to get them a house because I wanted to prove that I was a good son but after my mother said that I felt betrayed and unappreciated so the next day I took the jewelry I bought and gave it to my mother instead. I told her she could use if to sell it and pay for my sister's college or make up for whatever she spent on us.<br><br>She was very happy to receive it and my wife didn't mind that I didn't get her the gift. She loves wearing my mother's jewelry more than hers anyway and my mother didn't mind lending it to her.<br><br>My sister however told my grandmother what happened and my grandmother scolded me for not listening to my mother and being wasteful with my inheritance. She said I should have given my mother the inheritance instead of my sister. My mother agreed and said that I should have bought her and my sister a house with it instead of giving it to her and keeping some for myself. She told me I should have bought a better house or two houses instead of one and I should have given her the jewelry too.<br><br>I was kind of bitter about this and told them they should have been content with what I gave them. My sister said I was being petty and I should learn to let go of the past. My wife was mad at them though and said they were being selfish and greedy. She said they didn't deserve me and my sister because we were good to them. <br><br>I am very upset about this and I feel like my mother and sister don't appreciate me at all. I feel like they believe that no matter what I do for them it's never enough and I don't know what to do anymore.<br><br>Edit: It seems there's a lot of confusion about how I received my inheritance so I'd like to clarify some things.<br><br>- I wrote this in the present tense but it's actually been a year since all this happened and I'm just recalling it all now. Sorry if it was confusing.<br><br>- My inheritance was my father's life insurance. My mother also got some money and she used it to pay for our education and for something else of her own. I didn't ask her what it was for and she didn't tell me but she told me it was "something important".<br><br>- My sister's inheritance was what my mother's parents gave them as dowry when they married. My mother's parents are both dead now. I believe it was a few thousand dollars. I'm not sure though because I was too young to remember then.<br><br>- My mother didn't marry my father for his money. She grew up in a relatively poor family and my father was middle class when they married. When my father died he was already a wealthy man though and he left everything to my mother. <br><br>- The inheritance I got was not the only thing my mother got from my father and I'm not sure why my grandmother didn't give her any share of it. My mother bought us a new house with what she received and she was kind of mad that my sister and I asked why she didn't tell us about inheriting my father's life insurance. By that time my sister was already married and living in her own house and I was 25 and living on my own too. She told us we didn't have to know everything and she used some of my father's money to pay for our education and living expenses. My sister was bitter about this but I was okay with it because I knew she was telling the truth. And I didn't ask her about the inheritance again.<br><br>- None of my family members think my wife was a gold digger. My mother actually liked my wife and was very kind and generous to her. She treated her like a daughter and my wife was very nice to her too. My sister thinks my wife does not respect her and is spoiled but my wife is not. She's just not very traditional and my sister is.<br><br>- My wife and I were raised in different places and we have different cultures but we were raised to be humble and to work for everything we want and appreciate and take care of it. My wife and I are both hardworking people and we take good care of our family.<br><br>- I didn't buy my wife a house. I bought her a house but not with my inheritance. I used my own money and savings. I wasn't upset that my mother wanted to keep the inheritance for herself but I was upset that my sister and mother didn't trust me. They thought my wife would take my inheritance and waste it and they thought I was too in love with her to make good decisions.<br><br>- I know I said my mother and sister think my wife is spoiled but that's not entirely true. None of them have ever accused my wife of being a gold digger and my wife is not spoiled either. She's a hardworking woman and she's humble and kind. She does not waste money but she's not afraid to spend it either. My mother and sister are just suspicious of her because they're conservative and traditional.