How I lived with a 1 year old, lived in a big city, and saved 80% of my income

Before I had my daughter I spent a lot of time reading about personal finance. I read everything from “I retired at 25” to plenty of r/frugal stories linked here. After I had her I was too busy, but my job provided a ton of paid time off and we were able to enjoy our time raising an infant in the city. <br><br>Back in the day I spent 30 minutes a day on a bus driving to a job in a different city but I was able to work from home so I didn’t have to spend time commuting or money on a separate car for the commute. <br><br>When my toddler was 1, I moved into a three bedroom with a yard on a quiet street in a condominium. I only paid 1300 for rent. I had a really spacious living area, a big kitchen, a laundry room, a living room large enough to put a baby play area in. Our bedroom had a huge walk in closet so we didn’t need a dresser. I had two extra rooms, one was my home office and one was a guest room but we ended up using that for the baby play area anyway.<br><br>I used to go to a gym, but that was expensive. What you won’t believe is that having a child helped me get in shape. I was able to lift a 25 pound baby up and down a flight of stairs all day. Sometimes I do it all day on repeat. I also have to chase her around the house and I don’t need to pay for a membership to a gym. <br><br>We didn’t have tv. Cable is expensive. But it’s free to watch youtube on a computer and the tv, and we don’t need to watch commercials. I can also use prime video for free if I have prime. I streamed my Spotify music too. If I was too depressed to function, I have Alexa play baby shark and we can dance around in the living room and have a great time. That’s free because it comes with Prime. <br><br>Groceries were cheap because I only needed to buy formula and baby food. I lived with my boyfriend and I lived with a roommate so we could split groceries and have a roommate pay rent. Sometimes my boyfriend’s mom would come over and cook and then he’d buy the groceries so it was a win win for me. <br><br>For food sometimes I would make a huge batch of something, like a whole chicken and a whole bag of potatoes and we’d eat off those for almost a week. If I was too tired to cook I’d just dump a pint of milk and a cup of rice into a pot and boil it. Then I’d just steam a bag of broccoli and open a can of corn, dump some salt and pepper in and I’d eat like that. If my boyfriend came over we’d have a nice dinner and do the dishes together. <br><br>I also saved a lot of money by living in a condo. I didn’t have to mow a lawn or shovel the driveway. I didn’t have to buy a lawn mower or snow blower. I had a yard so my daughter could play outside anytime she wanted for free. The condo association handled the maintenance and we had a pool and a gym. I didn’t have to buy a membership and drive anytime I wanted to exercise. <br><br>I was able to leave my job and afford a 30% decrease in pay if I went part time, which allowed me to stay home 2 days a week and spend time with my daughter. Once she was 1, it made sense to hire an au pair. An au pair is basically a babysitter who also does chores. They live with you and for the price of a 40 hour week of daycare, you get 45 hours of babysitting, cooking, cleaning, and laundry. <br><br>She’s 3 now so she can communicate but when she was 1 not many people wanted to babysit. It’s hard to read their minds and you can’t just dump a baby on anyone because they might not understand how to care for them, and they might not want to. If you hire an au pair, they’re experienced with children and they live with you so if you want to go on a date or go to a party at 9 PM and don’t get home until 1 AM, your au pair already knows your schedule and your routine so they can handle bedtime. <br><br>My job is really stressful and I have health problems, I get migraines and fibromyalgia and I had a stroke. I have chronic pain in my legs, and I have a hard time regulating my body temperature and my blood pressure. I also get anxiety attacks. So I need a lot of downtime and a lot of attention. I do physical therapy, and I take medication. I go to the gym. I try to get at least 8 hours of sleep. <br><br>I like to read a lot so I get a lot of books from the library. I also enjoy getting books on audible. I like to do yoga and pilates so I try to do that at least once a day. Sometimes my au pair offers to do it with me but she’s from Brazil so English is a struggle for her sometimes. <br><br>I like to go on a lot of adventures. So I’ll take my daughter on a train ride and visit a different city for a day. Sometimes we’ll visit the zoo or aquarium, and then we’ll go to a park and have a picnic. Sometimes we go to an indoor playground. Sometimes we drive out to the woods and go for a hike. Sometimes my boyfriend comes over and watches her and he’ll take us out to dinner. <br><br>If my babe is sick I don’t have to call out of work. I can just stay home and care for her. I also have a lot of paid time off so it’s easy to take a week off and go on a vacation. <br><br>I read a story about a single mom on r/frugal_living where they lived in a one bedroom apartment, the mom slept on the couch and the baby slept in the bedroom. They were secretly wealthy and the mom said anytime she was too stressed, she’d go on a quick vacation and no one would ever know. <br><br>I saw another comment from a guy who said that while he was a kid, his mom could never afford Christmas presents. But one year they took a week long vacation to a beach and he said it was his happiest Christmas ever. <br><br>I don’t think I’m going to retire at 25, but I think I can retire at 40. And honestly I don’t think I’ll ever have to work a real job again if I don’t want to. I know what it’s like to be exhausted and overworked, but I took my daughter on a week long road trip to Yellowstone last summer and I loved it. I loved the freedom and the adventure. I loved the views and the hiking. I loved sleeping in a hotel instead of an apartment. And when we got home, we had a whole house to ourselves, a yard to ourselves, and a whole city to explore, and it was all within walking distance. <br><br>I know other people have to struggle to afford childcare and babysitters, or their jobs don’t allow for maximum PTO, or they have to live in an apartment because they can’t afford a house, but for me it worked out.