I found a baggy of heroin in the laundry at work.

I found a small baggy of heroin in the laundry at work stashed inside a tiny pillowcase. It was black heroin, and there must have been at least 10 grams, probably 20. The pillowcase had a slit in it, I assume stashed there by a resident for safe keeping.<br><br>I smoked a small amount of it at work, before bringing the rest home. I figured that if my coworkers could be high at work, I could too. I am very, very proud of myself for doing that, btw. It gives me immense satisfaction knowing that if I got in trouble for it, they would be in the same situation. I felt like I got away with something, like I won.<br><br>I smoked it out of a metal tube with a mesh screen on the end, a wonderful thing that I bought for smoking crack out of.<br><br>edit: I finally hit my tolerance tonight... I dosed 2 grams, and vomited for hours. I'm not going to dose again tonight. The night is young, but I'm already so sick that I couldn't smoke more even if I wanted to. <br><br>I have been having serious thoughts about my mental health and whether I need treatment. I have recently been doing 3 grams a day, which caused me to run out of my heroin a lot faster than usual. <br><br>Thank you to everyone who reached out to me on my DMs, I really appreciate it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it because it is what I want and need, and not for anyone else. I am going to apply for a scholarship for treatment, I think I will be able to afford it that way.<br><br>I am going to stay on suboxone, and I will get off of it when I am told to, not before. <br><br>I was able to get a sick day from work today because I was so sick from withdrawal. There is an open spot at an inpatient treatment center that I can go to tomorrow. I had planned to go on my days off, but now I am going to be able to go earlier than that. All because I called out sick today.<br><br>edit: I got into treatment, I am here now.<br><br>I was given a scholarship, which covered everything but the $750 out of pocket it costs.<br><br>I am feeling so good, and I appreciate everyone's support and kindness. <br><br>edit: I am still doing well, I am 2 weeks into my 90 day stay. I feel better than I have in such a long time. <br><br>The first week was really tough, because it was hard to be restricted from everything and everyone in my life. But I have adjusted now, and I feel a lot more comfortable here.<br><br>I am going to hand out flyers at a harm reduction meeting after I get out. I am really excited about it. I could have benefited from someone talking to me about treatment when I was still using. <br><br>I have been thinking about maybe working at my current job again in the future. I miss it. I haven't yet reached out to my boss because I don't think I am ready for that responsibility yet, but I think about it a lot. <br><br>I am not yet ready to go back to work, because I am still adjusting to sobriety. <br><br>I hand out flyers at harm reduction meetings now, and I work as a peer support specialist. I plan to get my LPN license in the future. Right now I am working on my GED, which I will finish this month.<br><br>I received handouts from someone working in the field and I was inspired to pursue the career myself, and now I am the one giving them out. <br><br>I smoked cigarettes when I was on suboxone because I thought it would help me out with cravings and I thought it was a healthier alternative than smoking heroin. It was a bad choice, I am now addicted to nicotine and it makes it harder to quit heroin. <br><br>I hope I can get off nicotine eventually.