I just got out of the most soul-sucking, miserable marriage. I’m convinced it was an astral war for the soul of women and I’m still reeling from the soul loss I experienced.

I don’t know how to tell anyone about what really happened to me in that marriage. I’m not sure I ever will. But I want to help others understand what we’re dealing with. I’ve read so many books and articles and research. Astrology, alchemy, psychology, philosophy, psychology, sociology, and the occult. More soul loss and manipulation is happening than most of us are aware of and it is really affecting our soul’s and psyches.&#x200B;<br><br>I’m convinced that patriarchy is an energetic war for the soul and flesh of women. Most of us don’t know how to understand our own bodies, minds, and souls. We’ve been convinced that we don’t have a body. That we need to follow rules to be safe. That we are weak. That we need men to protect us. This isn't true. Your relationship with nature is your protection.<br><br>I was born with a moon square Saturn. I’m a natural astrologer. I have Mars trine Pluto. I’m on the Pluto side. I couldn’t handle the manipulation I experienced. Most of us are too powerless to stand up to men. They are naturally more powerful and have control over our bodies and choices. This isn’t reality. We are the ones who bring life into the world. We created the planet. Our wombs are the creative center of the universe. <br><br>I was born with Saturn square the moon. Saturn square Venus. Saturn square Chiron. I didn’t realize it, but I have a natural disdain for men. My Saturn was in Virgo. I’m disgusted by patriarchy. I hate what it has done to our world and people. It’s all so sick. We were born with these natural inclinations. No one can stop us from fighting for our freedom. I’ve always been a rebel. It’s in my birth chart. <br><br>The moment I was born with Neptunes square to my moon, my soul was lost. I didn’t know who I was. I didn’t know my value. I had no self-worth. I couldn’t find myself in the world. I was not happy. My soul has never been happy in my body. It’s never been safe. I’ve always been in danger, which is why I had to go through so much soul loss at a young age. It was my only way to survive. <br><br>Marcia Moore wrote about soul loss in her astral projection book in the 80s. I read her book 10 years ago. I have tried astral projection for many years before I got married. I didn’t succeed. I had a lot of soul loss from child sexual abuse and body dysmorphia. She said if you have soul loss you won’t be able to do astral projection. My soul loss was too powerful. It probably would have saved me years ago if I could have done it. It wasn’t until I got divorced and separated from my husband. The minute I did I was able to project my soul and spirit out of my body. I’m not sure this is what happened but it felt like it. I felt my soul taken hostage by my ex-husband. I had to fight to get it back. I’m convinced that my husband was an agent of the patriarchy. He had no empathy or compassion. He used and manipulated and abused the women in his life. He’s a natural sociopath. <br><br>Donald Kalsched wrote that the soul of a person who was sexually abused is taken hostage by an internal predator. I believe sometimes this is an external predator. I felt the soul of my ex-husband in my body. It was inside my womb. I felt it. I knew it was there. I tried to get it out. I couldn’t. I was in so much pain and suffering. I tried to kill myself. I felt like I was going crazy. I think I was possessed. I don’t know if demonic possession is real but I felt like I was possessed. I have always felt like this. I’m convinced I was born with some attachment to the patriarchy. I didn’t know who I was or where my soul was because of the trauma I experienced. I’m convinced it was an astral war for the soul and flesh of women. <br><br>I want to call this internalized misogyny and internalized patriarchy psychopathy. Women are not protected in our world. Our souls are not safe. We suffer so much trauma and pain. We have to get our souls back. I tried to get a therapist but I didn’t have the money to afford one. I have to do all of the healing on my own. I’ve had to do all of my healing on my own my entire life. It’s exhausting. I’ve never felt so powerless and helpless. I’m not sure how I’m still alive. But I’m determined to not live in the patriarchy. I’m going to do everything I can to not live in the patriarchy. I’m determined to create a new society with new rules and laws. I’m determined to take back my soul.<br><br>(My mind is a complete mess. This is all I can think about right now. Forgive me for the jumbled nature of this post. I don’t know how to put all of this together. I don’t know how to understand all of what happened to me.)<br><br>TLDR: After years of research and personal experiences I’m convinced that patriarchy is an energetic war for the soul and flesh of women. I think internalized misogyny and internalized patriarchy is psychopathy and can be called demonic possession. I think the war for the soul of women is the reason why we’re so powerless, helpless, and sick. I think it’s the reason why we’re so traumatized. I believe it’s the reason why we cause so much harm to others. I think it’s the reason why humanity is so sick. I don’t know how to live in a patriarchal society without soul loss and manipulation from men. I’m not going to try. I’m going to create a new society with new rules and laws. I’m determined to take back my soul.