Trying to understand “boys will be boys” mentality.

Trying to understand why boys and men absolutely have to be aggressive to prove themselves. I’ve seen “boys will be boys” be used to justify absolutely terrible behavior. Literally seen a “boy will be boys” comment to justify a woman getting raped. The rapist “will learn someday” but the woman is forever traumatized. Comments like that are always followed by “prove you’re not?” Which is fucking insane to me. Literally seen a comment saying “prove you’re not a pedophile?” Like wtf. Mentioning this because boys will be boys has been used to justify pedophilia as well. “Well he’s only 12” is the argument. 12 year olds absolutely know what they’re doing in this context is wrong. They can be charged as adults in many countries. I’m sure a lot of you have seen the story of the cheerleader who was raped by her teammates and one teammate recorded the whole thing. The recording was even called “cheer bros f**k Chester”. Chester is their team name and is also the name of the cheerleader in question. She was only 16. The rapists are 16-18. They will likely be charged as adults. They have ruined Chester’s life forever. <br>I am a high school English teacher. I have boys and girls in my classroom. I’d say 70% of my students are boys. I absolutely have trouble getting their attention sometimes. I have learned that there is a difference between trouble getting their attention and trouble getting their attention because they are sexually harassing me. I 100% stand my ground and ask if they “can do that to their mom?” Which is a really shitty thing for a teacher to say but these actions are so hard to explain in any other way to these kids. Mentioning this because I absolutely have had to deal with boys being boys. 16-18 year olds. Many even mentioned that I’m a teacher and absolutely should not be sexualized. They still did it anyways. <br><br>I guess I’m just looking for answers to why boys (and even girls) have to be so aggressive to prove themselves. Specifically sexually. “Trying anything once” does not justify ruining someone’s life. Absolutely “boys will be boys” is a double standard to the “girls will be girls” assumption that girls are mean and catty. Girls absolutely gossip but I have absolutely never seen a group of girls sexually harassing someone or trying to rape someone. That’s just too far for girls. Its not in their “nature” to do that. “Boys will be boys” is used to justify anything absolutely terrible. That terminology is used to justify murder, pedophilia, rape, and so much more. That terminology is also used to justify the rape of boys. That terminology is used to justify “Prison rape is what happens when you go to prison. You knew what you were getting into.” Which absolutely is not true. Literally no one deserves to be raped. Its fucked up enough that so many people are in prison for crimes that literally do not even warrant being arrested. Literally, they absolutely should not be arrested. Its fucked up enough that we still have capital punishment. I absolutely agree that people who commit heinous crimes should not be out and about. However, prison rape is fucked up. I absolutely agree that prison rape is a social construct. Its something “we” have allowed and absolutely perpetuate. “Boys will be boys” is used to justify anything. Idk. Just so confused. Mentioning “we” because idk who else to refer to. I’m sure I’m not alone.