My partner cheated on me. Now, it feels like I'm the only one who is broken.

7 months ago my partner of 6 years came clean that they had cheated on me. It was a one-time thing, they said. They never loved that person, and it was a lapse in judgement that they'd never repeat. I was devastated. I cried. I screamed. I begged them to leave and never come back. They begged for forgiveness, promising they would fix our relationship and make it up to me. I told them I didn't know if I could forgive them, but I was willing to try.<br><br>I was depressed for several months. I had trouble sleeping. I'd wake up shaking, having nightmares about my partner's infidelity. They were patient and kind, and they humored me when I asked if they'd wear a GPS device on their ankle monitor so I could track their whereabouts. But they were also broken, too. They'd cry in bed at night, telling me how guilty they felt, and how much they wished they could turn back time. They feared that I'd leave them one day, and they wouldn't blame me for it.<br><br>Eventually, I forgave them. I still don't trust them completely, but I forgave them. I think. Maybe. Somewhere deep down in my psyche, I'm still angry and hurt, but I don't feel like I have a choice but to move on. It feels like my partner has moved on, at least.<br><br>My partner is happy now. They laugh and smile a lot. They're easy-going and fun-loving again. It feels like they've shed off all of the guilt and shame of their infidelity. They're excited for our future together. They're thinking about our wedding now, and how nice it would be to have kids together.<br><br>I'm still a broken, shattered, shell of a person. I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust my partner. I feel like I've been robbed of my dignity. Every day I fear losing them, and the relationship we've spent years building together. I'm frightened by the prospect of raising kids with someone who cheated on me. Still, I fear leaving them even more. I don't know who I am without them. I feel so deeply connected to them, at least I did, before they betrayed me.<br><br>I'm still broken. It's like my partner's infidelity shattered a mirror that can never be repaired. My partner is happy now, but I'm still shattered, and I don't know if I'll ever be the same again.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>EDIT: It's a they, not a he/she. Also, I've read all of the comments thus far. Thank you for your input. I appreciate it. Some good advice in here.