"Bruised You Fucker!"

It's 2014. I'm a 16 year old girl and I'm stuck in a psychiatric unit for two months due to issues with how I treat myself.<br><br>Now at this stage, I'm barely allowed to leave my bedroom at home without a chaperone, so the idea of being dumped in a psych hospital for two months with all these other "crazy kids" is completely overwhelming to me. I spend the first 3 weeks sleeping a lot and refusing to talk to anyone except the staff.<br><br>One night I'm sitting in the dining room at about 10 PM, waiting for the two hour window where staff let us shower and change for bed. There's about one other girl and two boys in the dining room watching tv, so I'm sitting in a corner with my knees to my chest and my sunglasses on because it still feels like everything has to be locked down if I want to get out of there.<br><br><br>Suddenly a boys' voice yells out "Oh Christ, You're still F**king here?" <br><br>I look up and see a boy that I've only seen a few times around the place. He's about my age, and F**king hot. He had strawberry blonde hair and piercing blue eyes that are just mesmerized on me as he makes his way over to me. His muscles are well defined due to his exercise regime (gym, f**king ect.).<br><br><br>He sits at the table I'm at and pulls out a pack of cigarettes and starts smoking right in front of me. "You know I'm F**king off this ward next week. I'm so sick of F**king watching you all the time. You never say a word! Are you gonna talk to me tonight?"<br><br>I try to pull out one of my cigarettes but he grabs the packet off of me and slams it to the ground. "I'm F**king talking, F**king listen to me, do you hear me?"<br><br>I just stare at him, frozen in shock. "You know how F**king easy it is to make a young girl fall in love with me? I can make them fall in love with me in an hour! How can I do that you ask yourself? Because I am a F**king gee!"<br><br>He stands up and paces around the table "You know how many girls are in love with me on this ward? At least five! You know how many are in love with me outside of this place?"<br><br>I'm still frozen in shock, but I'm flinching when he yells. He grabs my chin and pulls my face up to his "You F**king know how many? At least 13! I'm not even F**king 16 yet! Do you know how F**king easy it is to F**king make a girl fall in love with me? It's so F**king easy! I can make them do anything!"<br><br>He lets go of my chin and I pull my knees up to my chest again. He's still pacing but not yelling anymore. "I don't want to F**king make you fall in love with me! I can tell by looking at you, you're different to those other girls. You can't be fooled by everyone! Do you know how long I've been stuck in here? Ever since I was 6, I've been in a boys home, then a psych hospital, now here! You know why? Because of my step dad. He F**king blew himself up! And you know why he did that?"<br><br>I'm still frozen in shock, and he's still pacing slowly. "Because my mum left him after I beat her up! I was 6! And You know how he did it? He blew himself up right in front of me!"<br><br>I'm just watching him as he tells his story. He's clearly referring to past abuse. He continues to talk to me for a while longer, then he pulls out a lighter and sets a piece of paper alight before blowing it out and throwing it at me. He walks out of the dining room and down to the room he shares with at least two other boys.<br><br>The two boys that are watching TV look over at me and one mouths "If you see him again, F**k off. He's a F**king lunatic.<br><br><br>The girl that's been watching him the whole time he was talking to me has one of the most creepy grins on her face I've ever seen. I walk down to my room and get a pack of cigarettes and come back to the dining room to smoke a cigarette. The next 2 hours is just spent smoking. Staff finally come down and tell us to go have our showers. I have a shower and brush my teeth before putting on my pyjamas and coming back to the dining room for a quick smoke before bed. The girl with the creepy grin is still there, watching TV and smiling at the screen. I go to bed feeling uneasy about the whole thing and almost expecting her to kill me in my sleep.<br><br>The next morning I wake up late and head down to the dining room for breakfast. The girl with the creepy grin is sitting at a table with the boy who was talking to me last night. She has her arm around him and is sitting extremely close to him. He looks over at me and yells out "You F**king Stupid Bitch! You told her, didn't you?"<br><br>I just stop and stare at him like a stunned deer. The girl with the creepy grin stands up, still smiling, and walks over to me "We had a long talk last night! You know how long I've been in love with him?"<br><br>I can still remember her words due to the creepy tone of her voice. "You know how long we've been F**king? You know how much we both hate you?"<br><br>She steps a little closer to me "You know how F**king much he hates you? You're F**king stupid, you know that? You think a guy like him would even look at you? You're nothing! I'm gonna make sure you never leave this F**king hospital!"<br><br>I watch as both of them walk out of the dining room. I sit on the chair I was standing next to and try and compose myself. I start to feel sick to my stomach. I've been getting really paranoid about people ever since I turned 13 and this isn't helping. My paranoia is off the charts, but part of me is just completely frozen in fear. I've already had a hard life at this stage, and this has almost made me want to kill myself right there at the dining table.<br><br>I eventually manage to get enough courage to go over to the table they were sitting at and grab a banana. I walk back to my chair, sit down and stare out the window. I can't eat my banana. I squeeze one end of it until it squirts out the other end, and I put it in the bin. I squeeze the bin as hard as I can until the plastic at the bottom splits. I throw the bin against the wall, and it smashes against the wall before hitting the floor. I take my packet of cigarettes and my lighter and F**k off to the balcony and have a smoke.<br><br>I come back inside to find the girl with the creepy grin sitting at a table closer to the window where she can watch me. Her creepy grin hasn't changed, and she's still staring at me. I'm getting sick to my stomach again, so I get up from my chair and walk over to the table where the creepy grin is. I stand next to her and pull out a cigarette and my lighter. I light the cigarette and intentionally burn her on the hand.<br><br>"Bruised you, F**ker!" I say, before walking away from her table. I go back to the balcony, have another smoke, flick my cigarette off the balcony and go back inside. I walk back to the chair I sit in and stare out the window again. The creepy grin is sitting on her chair, holding a pack of cigarettes and has a lighter in her hand. She looks angry. I just keep staring out the window.<br><br>She doesn't do anything. And eventually I get up and walk down to the nurses room to tell a staff member that I need to get out of there. Staff are discussing moving me to a different ward because I'm becoming more and more aggressive. I am moved to a different ward just a few days later due to "paranoid delusions" based on my story.<br><br>I've never had a stalking experience like that before. No one had ever made me feel the way I felt in that place. And it's stuck with me ever since.