I'm mentally ill. Why am I the one constantly watching out for my friends' mental health?

I'm so tired of people saying "We're all in this together." NO WE'RE NOT. I have actual mental health problems. <br><br>I'm exhausted and I just don't get it. I'm so tired of people comparing their boredom and fear of the coronavirus to people with actual mental health disorders. <br><br>I'm sick of people asking ME how I'm coping with the crisis. Why do I have to cope better than anyone else? I have clinical depression for gods' sake, I've almost killed myself three times. Why am I always the one who has to be strong? Why do I have to look after other people's mental health when I need help myself? Why am I the one who has to reassure my friends all the time? <br><br>I'm so angry about this. I'm angry that people who know about my mental health problems still talk about how bored they are, how sad they are, how miserable they are, how this is the darkest point in their life and how their mental health is suffering. I've been there for years. I'm still there. This doesn't change anything for me. <br><br>I'm angry because I'm going to be left to pick up the pieces once all this is over. My depressed friend will be too sad, my anxious friend will be too anxious, my fearful friends will be too afraid. I've spent my entire life growing up around mental health problems. I know what to do. <br><br>I'm angry because I'm expected to look after everyone else and I'm not allowed to fall apart. I'm always strong. I'm always brave. I'm always happy. My friends don't like it when I'm not strong. <br><br>I'm angry that I always have to put others first. I'm angry because I'm already at a low point and nobody cares about my mental health. I'm angry because I'm at a turning point. I'm angry because when the crisis is over, I will have serious questions to ask my friends.