Why are you walking around town with a large microwave on your head?

I was walking down to the local grocery store, to get something for breakfast and my gods, was it hot outside. I was sweating like a running faucet, and it didn't help that it was 8:15 am. These gods sure knew how to nuke a planet. I reached the grocery store and, as I walked in, the doorbell chimed and the employees up front looked at me. I swear these people were trying to nuke the town with stares, not sweat. <br><br>I walked down the aisles and picked up a carton of milk and a box of cereal, and headed to the cash register. I set it in and one of them came over to scan it. She looked at the carton and the box, raised an eyebrow and then looked at the microwave on my head. I tried to ignore that last one. <br><br>"Why do you have a microwave on your head?" She asked. I was trying to ignore it, but it was hard to do that anymore. <br><br>"It's keeping me cool," I replied, "I do it on hot days sometimes." She looked at me for a moment and then went back to her work. <br><br>"Oh, nice." She said. She had a tone like she didn't believe me. I didn't care. It was none of her business if I had what looked like an oversized stove on my head. It was my choice, and it was keeping me cool. <br><br>I went to grab a shopping cart, so I could put the microwave in. I then saw what looked like a piano. It was covered in a large sheet. I then saw the words, "For Sale" on it, and my eyes widened. I wanted a piano, and the sheet over it meant that it was probably really cheap. I went to ask the employees about it, and again they looked at the microwave. I swear, it felt like it had become a part of me the way these people looked at it. <br><br>"I'm trying to sell it," An employee said, while trying to stare at it, "My friend had it, but he got a new one. It's a really good piano, by the way. It's self-cleaning and has a refrigerator built into it." That sounds like a nice piano, I thought.<br><br>"How much?" I asked. I was really hoping that I could afford it, but I didn't really know what it was worth. It's not everyday that you see someone selling a piano, much less one that was a refrigerator. <br><br>"Well," She said, "Like I said before, it's a really good piano. And it's a refrigerator." She paused. "I don't know. What do you think would be a fair price?" That was a really good question for some reason. I liked to think that I was a really fair person, but even I had trouble knowing what was going to be fair to this piano. <br><br>"There's no price tag on it." I said. If there's no price tag on it, then it's free, right? I just said that last one out loud. <br><br>"What?" She sounded confused by my reasoning. I was confused too. I then leaned on the counter and closed my eyes. <br><br>"Why is your eyes closed?" She asked. I didn't really hear her, I was just lost in my head. I leaned back and stood up straight, and then looked at her again. <br><br>"Why are you walking around with a large microwave on your head?" She asked. I looked at her confused, until I remembered the microwave. <br><br>"Oh yeah," I said, "It's keeping me cool. I do it on hot days sometimes." <br><br>Then, there was a loud crack. It sounded like thunder, and I looked around. "Is it going to rain?" I asked. <br><br>"No," She said, "It's just the piano. It's gods of thunder are really zealous." That was a good thing. I wasn't really in the mood for thunder. <br><br>"I'm going to go to my car and put my groceries in it," I said. "Maybe I'll give you an offer on the piano later." She nodded. I then saw a man in a toga running towards us. <br><br>"What gods are you talking about?" He asked. I pointed to the employee. <br><br>"I didn't say anything. She said something about gods of thunder." <br><br>"No, you said something about the gods of thunder being really zealous." The man looked at her, and then he looked at me. "Why are you walking around with a large microwave on your head?"