I am so fucking tired of mental health advocacy

I have severe, intractable bipolar disorder with psychotic features. It is incurable and I will struggle with it for the rest of my life. I am in therapy. I take my meds. I have few friends, rarely date, and have struggled with work andschool. I have few hobbies and interests. I will more than likely depend on SSI for the rest of my life. I have few prospects. I have cut myself. I have been hospitalized several times, including one particularly lengthy stay after a suicide attempt. I have been institutionalized. I am not "brave". I am not "strong". I am not "inspiring". I am a burden. And this is a huge portion of my life. <br><br>I am sick to death of "mental health advocacy". If you say you care about mental health, but won't vote for policies that actually improve access to resources, shut up. If you say you care about mental health, but won't help pay for my 8k dollar hospital bill that put me in tremendous debt, shut up. If you say you care about mental health, but won't look beyond the superficial surface of mental illness, shut up. If you say you care about mental health, but won't help me with basic things like cleaning or errands, shut up. If you say you care about mental health, but won't take the time to learn about how to help me when I am experiencing an episode, shut up. If you say you care about mental health, but won't bear witness to my suffering, shut up. If you say you care about mental health, but won't give up some money to make sure people like me get the resources we need, shut up. If you say you care about mental health, but won't come with me to therapy, sit in the waiting room, and support me as I take the kinds of risks in treatment that will make me a better person, shut up. If you say you care about mental health, but won't consider the needs of people with MI when making decisions about your life, shut up. If you say you care about mental health, but won't do anything to help me in my darkest moments, shut up. <br><br>I am sick to death of "mental health advocacy" that really only solves the problems of people who are only mildly affected. I am sick to death of "mental health advocacy" that doesn't actually do anything to better the lives of people with MI. I am sick to death of "mental health advocacy" that doesn't actually involve listening to people with MI. Fuck every single one of you who claims to care about mental health, but won't lift a finger to make a sacrifice to actually help the people around you with MI. Fuck every single one of you who pretend to be friends with people with MI, but who won't do anything to support them when it matters most. <br><br>If you say you care about mental health, but won't put your money where your mouth is, shut up. If you say you care about mental health, but won't help me bear the burden of this, shut up. If you say you care about mental health, but won't sacrifice a tiny bit of comfort to actually improve my life, shut up. If you say you care about mental health, but won't help me carry the weight of this, shut up. If you say you care about mental health, but won't do anything to help me survive this, shut the fuck up. <br><br>I am so fucking tired of people talking about mental health but who won't do anything to make a real difference. I am so fucking tired of the lip service. I am so fucking tired of the superficial displays of "support". I am so fucking tired of the refusal to confront the reality of the suffering of people with MI. I am so fucking tired of people who call themselves allies but who won't do a fucking thing when it matters most. I am so fucking tired of people who claim to care but won't work to create a world that is more compassionate and better equipped to help people with MI. I am so fucking tired of being a burden on the people around me who claim to care about me but who won't provide any real support. I am so fucking tired of being a burden on my friends and family. I am so fucking tired of not being able to take care of myself. I am so fucking tired of having to rely on other people just to survive. I am so fucking tired of being a drain on everyone I know. I am so fucking tired of living this way. I am so fucking tired of not being able to work a real job. I am so fucking tired of not being able to support myself. I am so fucking tired of not being able to take care of myself. I am so fucking tired of having to rely on SSI. I am so fucking tired of not being able to achieve my dreams. I am so fucking tired of having to push myself to do anything. I am so fucking tired of having to rely on other people to do basic things. I am so fucking tired of not being able to do basic things. I am so fucking tired of not being able to function. I am so fucking tired of not being able to do anything without help. I am so fucking tired of relying on others to live. I am so fucking tired of everything.