Okay to be honest I’m not frugal and I feel like not being frugal is bringing me both financial and mental relief

I’ve been doing frugal living for 3 or 4 years. I spent most of my money on essentials and only occasionally would I splurge a little. I used to be a big gamer and spent so much money on games and a console, but I got rid of all of them because I wanted to save a little more money. I’m not saying I completely sucked up but I was halfway there I’d say. I’m no financial advisor, but I thought that this was the right way to do things.<br><br>About three weeks ago, my younger brother came over to my place. He spent a few hours there. He toned my hair and then we managed to make it look decent with my own tools. It looked good. He used to go to a hairdresser every two weeks. He said he was going to a hairdresser today, and I decided to come with him. I didn’t spend very much money, I believe it was €30 (a little less than $35 USD), but the outcome was way better compared to doing it myself. My hair looked great.<br><br>As of now I’m willing to spend some money on a hairdresser twice a month. On top of that, my father gave me a few bottles of wine that were halfway full. I threw them away because I don’t really drink. My brother asked if he could have it. He’s a wine drinker. So he drank some of the wine and I started drinking some as well. The bottle was empty after a few hours. The both of us enjoyed ourselves. We had a good time.<br><br>After my brother left and I was alone with my thoughts. I thought:<br><br>“Am I living like this because I believe it is the right way to live? Or am I living like this because I can only live like this?”<br><br>When I thought about the hairdresser thing, I decided to make an appointment for the following week. I had a good time. I didn’t have to deal with anything and I felt great. I’m going to be doing this twice a month, so I can spend a little more money.<br><br>My hair is never going to look as good no matter how I decide to do it myself than what a hairdresser can do to make it look good. I just can’t do it. By spending money, I can make myself look better and feel better.<br><br>I started thinking about other things that I can do that will create a better outcome and improve my life. I’m sick of mowing my lawn every two weeks. I’m going to hire someone else to do it. I’m sick of cooking every night. I’ve been ordering food for the past two days. I’m not going to do it every day but I’m going to do it a little more often from now on. I’m going to focus on other things in life. I’m going to spend a little less time at work.<br><br>This will relieve me of stress. This will make me feel better physically. This will improve my appearance as well as other aspects of my life. <br><br>For the past few years, I’ve been going through a difficult period in my life. I almost had a burnout about 6 months ago but I survived it by spending more and prioritizing myself in other ways. I still have a lot of stress going on in my life but I’m feeling better now. I’m happy that I decided to spend money on a hairdresser because it’s encouraged me to change my life even a little bit.<br><br>I’m going to live a little more on my own terms even if it means that I’m not saving up. Hopefully, I will be able to spend money and live my life to the fullest without sacrificing anything. I might reassess my frugal living after a few years, but for now I’m just focusing on getting through. <br><br>For now, I’m going to go to a hairdresser twice a month and I’m going to order food once or twice a week. I’m going to hire someone to mow my lawn. This is going to relieve me of stress. I’m going to live a better life. I’m going to focus on other things. I’m going to improve my life.<br><br>If I ever figure out a way to live a frugal life with lots of money then I will reassess frugal living once again. But for now I’m not going to do that. I’m going to focus on what I really want to focus on. I’m going to live a little.