Engineering is a bunch of nonsense at a large company

Throwaway because I have already posted too many times <br><br>TL;DR I have figured out why I hate my job. <br><br>I have been fairly certain that I would have to leave my 3 year job as an aerospace systems engineer because I have been really miserable. I took a lot of time off and thought about who I was before I got into engineering, 2 years ago, and who I am now. I had a fairly good work/life balance with a fairly decent paying job and decent hours. The money in engineering is much better but it is probably the only thing. I go through a lot of stress, work long hours, and have no work/life balance. I am constantly worried about work. I dread work. I cry about work. My back is killing me due to work. My stomach is in knots all the time. I don't have any fun.<br><br>I thought that it was just me because I am at a large government contractor. Government contractors have a lot of red tape and fairly strict rules. I thought that the stress would float away if I was at a cool tech company in San Francisco. I wanted to make lego sets for adults. I wanted to do anything to get away from aerospace.<br><br>I watched a few video interviews with someone I admire who designs shoes for Converse. I want to be her. I love shoes. She loves shoes. It is really cool. I took a lot of time off work and went to the local museum of art and design. I spent a lot of time by myself and realized that I was not happy in engineering. <br><br>I really love to do art. I love to make things. I love to take care of things. I love to be around people who make things. My favorite thing about school was that I could walk to the studio in the middle of campus and see what people were working on. Everyone was making a lot of cool things. I was happy to be around all of it. I love to see people make furniture. I love to see people do paintings. I love to see people make jewelry. I love to see things being made. I love hands on crafts. I love machining. I love to make clothes. I love to see people make things. <br><br>When I was 14 I got a sewing machine. I made a lot of clothes. I loved making clothes. I made a lot of shoes. I made a lot of hats. It is really fun. I took a lot of time off work to make things. I made a lot of shoes. I sewed a lot of things. I made a lot of hats. I went to a knife making class. I made a knife. It is fun. I love making things. It is fun to be hands on. I loved making things every day. I am happy when I make things. <br><br>I didn't know if I could get a job making things. I took a lot of time off work. I went to a lot of job interviews. I met with a lot of people. I made a lot of phone calls. I had coffee with a lot of people. I went to a lot of things. I spoke with people who made shoes. I spoke with people who made furniture. I spoke with people who made custom jewelry. I was happy to see what everyone was making. I loved seeing what everyone was working on. I was excited to do anything. <br><br>I thought that I wouldn't be able to find a job. I thought I would be stuck in engineering forever. I would be miserable forever. I was really sad. I was really upset. I was really worried. I didn't know if I had any options. I was scared that I would never get to make things again. <br><br>I spoke with someone in industry for every job that I was interested in. I spoke with someone in shoes. I had coffee with someone in furniture. I had coffee with someone in design. I had coffee with someone in jewelry. I looked at a lot of companies. I looked at a lot of companies in every single field. I interviewed for a lot of jobs. I went to a lot of things. I spoke with a lot of people. I went to a lot of lectures. I went to a lot of shows. <br><br>I got a job offer in furniture. I got a job offer in shoes. I got a job offer in jewelry. I got a job offer in a fairly cool company in San Francisco. I had a lot of options. I was going to make a lot of money in engineering but I would be miserable. I was going to make less money being a maker but I would be really happy. <br><br>I decided to do both. I am grateful that I have a lot of options. I can afford to take a fairly large pay cut. I can maintain my fairly decent standard of living. I took a 40% pay cut. I am grateful because I have a lot of options. I am grateful because I can do both. I am grateful because I have a lot of things. <br><br>I am going to do both. I am going to 2 days a week at my job in aerospace. I am going to work in a makerspace on Fridays. I am going to work 2 days a week fairly close to my house. I am going to work 2 days a week fairly close to the makerspace. I am going to 1 day a week at the makerspace. I am going to focus on doing everything I can at work. I am going to focus on what I am doing. I am going to be present. I am going to not be on my phone. I am going to not look at reddit. I am going to not cry at my desk. I am going to not dread my work. I am going to like my work. I am going to be happy. I am going to be excited. <br><br>I am grateful for engineering. I have a lot of options. I love what I do. I get to make things. I am a maker. I am a maker. I love making things. I love being a maker. I love making things. I am so grateful. I am so happy. I am so excited. This is amazing. I am so grateful. I feel so much better. I love everything. I am so excited. I love being an engineer. I am happy. I am excited. I love what I do. I am a maker.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>Edit 1: I appreciate all the help. Sorry if I rambled a little bit. Thanks everyone for the advice. I'm glad I can move on to a good field fairly easily.