What is your relationship with your native language and culture?

I'm an immigrant in France and I'm learning French. I'm having 'identity problems' and I would love to hear about your experiences.<br><br>I'm 23 years old, pretty young. I was born and raised in Romania, moved to France 4 years ago, 3 years ago I started learning the language, last year I moved in with a French boyfriend and this year I got a part time job. Hopefully in September I will go to University for language courses. I speak 4-5 languages, my native one being Romanian. I'm quite known in family and friends group for being a patriot. It all changed when I moved in with my boyfriend and had to speak more French. I started to forget my native language, I confuse it with French, I haven't read a single book in Romanian since I moved here, which is a big damn problem. It's been a long time since I listed to Romanian music. I'm afraid that I will forget part of myself. I'm so afraid but I have no idea how to discuss this with my boyfriend. I don't know how to bring it up. <br><br>I'm also scared that this relationship will destroy my relationship with my family. He doesn't speak a word of Romanian, I've told him to stop trying because I'm afraid 'my brain will explode someday'. My parents don't speak a word of French, they don't want to learn it, they've told me they have no interest in visiting me in France or visiting 'that culture' in general. My boyfriend has told me he would like to travel to Romania someday but I'm so ashamed of my country. I'm ashamed to talk about it in front of him, I'm ashamed to translate 'trash' Romanian words for him. I'm ashamed to show him 'traditional clothes', I'm ashamed to introduce him to my parents (he does not want to meet them...yet....but I don't want to either). <br><br>I'm starting to feel like I'm losing my identity, like I'm betraying my family and my country. I'm scared to lose my relationship with them. I don't know how to cope with all these feelings. I love my boyfriend but I'm just so ashamed of my background.<br><br>Edit:Hey guys, thank you all for the comments. They're much appreciated. I will read them all and ponder on my relationship with my boyfriend and my background.<br><br>Edit 2: I have a hard time replying to you all, I'm still in shock, I had no idea I touched such a sensitive topic for so many people. Please know that I'm reading everything, I'm trying to reply to as many as I can and I'm trying to keep up with the pm. Thank you all for the kindness. It is much appreciated.