I'm a_dual Degenerate, alcoholic, meth smoker and thief, I'll do just about anything for drugs

When I say drugs, I'm talking about alcohol and meth/amphetamines specifically, but I have a history with just about every substance. Because I'm an addict... I have depression and anxiety, and I self medicate. I have a job and I'm responsible with my finances, so I don't steal for money, I steal for that rush, that high, and for the fun. I'm a chronic liar, and I've honed this skill to where I can talk my way out of a lot of things including being caught shoplifting.<br><br>I'll start with the more notable events, in the order that I recall them. I used to take my (ex)boyfriend to the bar on Fridays after work, and while we'd be drinking I'd get up to go to the bathroom, take my jacket to the bathroom with me, and before entering the stall I'd take a bottle of liquor from the shelf, and put it in my jacket. Usually a bottle of goldschlager and a bottle of fireball, or similar. I'd proceed to act like everything was normal and when I was ready to leave I'd just walk out with my bottles.<br><br>When I was in college my friends and I would drink and do drugs and ket shoplift on weekends. We lived in a dorm on campus. There was a gas station just across the street. They sold snacks, drinks, liquor, tobacco, just about anything. Every weekend we'd each put $5 together, go to that gas station, each one of us would grab about 6-8 beers, cover them with our jackets and walk out with them. We'd get drunk, do some lines of coke and drive around, and then repeat the process the following weekend. The cops would always be there to arrest at least one of us, but I never got caught. Sometimes if I was alone I'd just walk in and walk out with 12 beers uncovered, just daring them to stop me. I don't think they cared, as long as we were spending money.<br><br>When I was 18 I dated a guy that got me into shoplifting. We dated for about a year, and our relationship was toxic. He was the type to steal anything and everything, all the time. I liked the rush and I liked focusing on something other than my problems. We'd steal anything from snacks and drinks to clothing, electronics, ect. We'd usually hit up Target or Walmart, or sometimes grocery stores. We'd steal anything in bulk, 6-12 packs of drinks and snacks. We had so much shit, we'd end up giving a lot of it away or throwing it away. I'd steal t shirts just because I liked them, and I'd have a closet full of them so I stopped wearing them. <br><br>One time we were at a national chain grocery store (I'm not naming any names) and we stole a bunch of snacks. He had them in his pants and jacket, I had them in my purse. We walked out and I got stopped at the door (he didn't). A middle aged man came and took me to a room and searched my bag. He found all the snacks and asked me how much was there, and I didn't know because I didn't steal them. He counted up 5 packs of chips assorted flavors, 3 boxes of Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls, a pack of gum, a pack of mints, and two kinds of popcorn each about 5-6 bags for each flavor. He asked me if I knew I was stealing and I said I didn't steal anything, "that's not my stuff, I don't know where it came from". I was young and dumb, but I know now that was the wrong answer to give. He wrote down my name and address, and said I wasn't in trouble but he was calling the cops to have me escorted from the property. I got in my car and left the parking lot before any cops showed up. I followed the same routine for years, with the exception of that one time that I got caught. It was worth the risk. I couldn't even begin to calculate how much money I've saved over the years doing this. <br><br>I'd also steal parking passes from the parking garage at work and give them to a friend who was in college, because she had to pay 5 bucks a day to park but I got a free parking permit and they were the same as hers, so she'd just use mine instead of buying her own. <br><br>I have a dog and I'd go to Walmart with her, in the winter she'd have a sweater and booties on and she was so fucking cute that nobody would ever suspect me of stealing. I'd carry her in my jacket, she's a small dog, probably 15 lbs. I'd put a couple boxes of donuts, cookies and crackers down my pants, and I'd have six packs of soda in my jacket, along with my dog. <br><br>One time I was waiting in line to pay for my items at Walmart, but when the person in front of me finished paying I just grabbed my cart and walked out without paying. I didn't steal anything on purpose, I just forgot to pay. I didn't realize it until I was in my car driving away, and I didn't feel bad at all. I don't steal often at Walmart anymore, I usually go to the dollar store or dollar general if I'm going to steal.<br><br>Speaking of dollar stores, I used to work at the dollar store. I'd steal all kinds of snacks, sometimes I'd just go in the back room and fill up trash bags full of candy and snacks and take them home. I had so many snacks, I'd take them to work and give them out to my coworkers and managers, and I'd never run out. At one point I had so many snacks in my car, I had snacks stacked on top of each other in the back seat, and I'd have to move them around just to get in. I have a hatchback Ford focus, it's a small car. <br><br>I'd also steal by bringing items I already owned into the store, then hiding them and pretending to find them when really I knew exactly where they were the whole time. This would happen at least 3x a week.<br><br>I'd also take empty bottles into work with me, fill them with soda and juice from the fountain machine, and then walk out with them. Sometimes I'd take them to the bar and they'd let me drink them there.<br><br>I work in a busy office where a lot of older wealthy people go to socialize. I'd take full bottles of liquor that were left behind from parties and functions that nobody was drinking. I'd put the bottles in my purse and walk out with them.<br><br>I'd steal food and drinks from fast food restaurants too. I'd go through the drive thru, drive up to the first window, pay for my food and then just drive off without picking it up at the second window. They'd call me to see where I was at and I'd say I'm right here, and they'd say we already gave your food away.<br><br>When I was about 21 I dated a guy who sold drugs. He'd sell me drugs at a lower price because I was his girlfriend. He'd also buy me drinks at the bar. After we broke up I found out that he was also stealing from the gas station where I'd been stealing for years. He'd steal packs of cigarettes and sell them for half the price. I don't know exactly how he did it, but I know he'd hide them in his pants. He'd also steal liquor bottles and sell them for cheaper. <br><br>I know somebody who works in the stockroom at target. They'll steal electronics and let me take them home, sometimes I'll give them money for the items, but they're usually just happy to have me take them. I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me, so I stole a bunch of his electronics in a suitcase, and it was heavy so I took it to my car in a shopping cart and nobody stopped me. <br><br>I used to steal all the time, but recently I've been trying to stop. I don't need to steal, and I know it's wrong, but I also know that if I ever get caught I'll just get a fine and a misdemeanor charge. I'd have to be caught and convicted many times to get in real legal trouble, but I'm trying to stop anyway. I feel like an asshole and a terrible person for thinking that the consequences of stealing aren't that bad, but I'm an addict and a degenerate. I don't care about myself or other people. I care about getting high and having fun. I feel no guilt whatsoever. People can think what they want about me, but I don't care. I'm not sorry, nor should I be. I'll probably continue to steal because I enjoy it. The rush I get from stealing is the same rush I get from doing drugs. <br><br>I know a lot of people think that by sharing my story I'm giving away my identity, but I have no reason to be ashamed or worried. People who know me already know that I'm a degenerate junkie, and if I get caught I'll just laugh about it and move on. I've already spent so much time in jail for DUI's that I don't care about going to jail ever again. I'd rather be in jail than sober, that's how bad it is for me.