I [28F] was “overwhelmed” by my boyfriend’s [28M] wedding proposal and told him I wanted to take some time to think about it. He says I hurt his feelings and I don’t know if I did.

I [28F] was “overwhelmed” by my boyfriend’s [28M] wedding proposal and told him I wanted to take some time to think about it. He says I hurt his feelings and I don’t know if I did.<br><br>A little over a month ago I got a huge surprise from my boyfriend. I knew we had talked about marriage and had already picked out the ring, but I was still taken aback when he proposed on a hike. My reaction wasn’t much better. He asked me to marry him and I pretty much told him I felt a little overwhelmed and wanted to take some time to think. He looked very surprised by my response.<br><br>We did eventually talk about it after a few days when we got home. He said he was disappointed that that was my reaction and had hoped for something a little more romantic. I explained to him that I felt a little sudden and that the moment was so so incredible and emotional that it felt like I wasn’t even in my body in the moment.<br><br>When I finally was able to look back on the incident, when my brain calmed down enough, I realized that my answer was a “no.” I got a strong feeling of anxiety and a huge red flag when I started thinking about it.<br><br>When I told him that yesterday, he got upset and said that I hurt his feelings and I got a strong message that he does not actually love me, but is obsessed with me. The message was clear that I was disposable.<br><br>I have to admit that I’m feeling a little stunned and worried about whether or not I hurt his feelings. I can see a little bit where I did because I hurt his romantic vision, but I was so caught up in my own mental state that I didn’t think about his feelings. I can’t admit to anything else except that.<br><br>I’m not sure what to make of this situation and I’m taking some time to process. Should I have just said yes? Did I lead him on? Is it too late to say yes? Should I just say yes to make him happy?<br><br>I’m so confused and heartbroken because I feel like I messed up this relationship. I would love some guidance and any advice that might help me better understand what to do next.<br><br>I updated this post so it could be clearer. What I meant to say was that I didn’t feel ready to be married. It was like I got a strong message from my brain that I need to be on my own for a little while. I didn’t have any reservations about marrying him in fact he was perfect in every way. It was more that I got to know him and realized I wasn’t ready to be married.