How to use your freaking phone! (friendly patriarchy smashing tip of the day!)

If you listen to your phone and follow your phone’s instructions more than you follow your own heart and mind, you might be under a spell. Your phone was made by a patriarchy that is addicted to growth, and that believes it must constantly expand to survive. What this means for you is that your phone was designed to be as addictive, distracting, and as effective as possible at getting you to do one thing: stare at its screen. This is an example of how the patriarchy can get inside our minds and be a part of how we think, and what we do. In other words, it’s a spell. But don’t worry. Killing this spell is not as hard as you think, and you don’t have to throw your phone into a river. All you have to do is take some time to learn how to use the magic of your phone to serve you and your loved ones, rather than letting it master you. This is the first step on the path to being completely free from the patriarchy, and to being your own person. So here is a quick guide to help you get started! #1 **Put your phone on airplane mode anytime you’re not actually using it** Phones are designed to constantly send signals to the nearest cell phone tower, and to listen for signals coming back. This is how we connect to the world through our phones. However, this also means that our phones are sending signals about our location, our mood, and even the conversations we have, to the patriarchy and its corporations and governments. This means that our phones can hear us, and that the patriarchy can use this information to control us and manipulate us. It also means that our phones can see where we are, and that the patriarchy can use this information to track us, to predict how we will behave, and to control us. Putting your phone on airplane mode keeps it from sending these signals, and keeps the patriarchy from monitoring your location, thoughts, and feelings. It’s as simple as opening your settings app, going to “Connections”, and tapping on “Airplane mode”. #2 **Turn off notifications on everything!** Now that your phone is no longer connected to the patriarchy, you should turn off all notifications on your phone. Notifications are sounds or vibrations that your phone makes to get your attention. They are designed to get you hooked on your phone, to distract you from the world around you, to hypnotize you, and to control you. By turning them off, you are taking back control over your own mind and emotions. #3 **Hide or delete all social media apps** Social media is one of the patriarchy’s most powerful tools for controlling our minds and thoughts. It uses algorithms to select which posts we see, to control what information we digest, to distract us from reality, and to sell us things that we don’t need. By using social media, we are willingly letting the patriarchy inside our minds, where it can manipulate us and control our actions. By hiding or deleting social media apps, we can break this spell and free our minds. #4 **Take back control over your apps** You don’t need to delete every app on your phone. You only need to delete the ones that waste your time, distract you from your goals, or that keep you from connecting with the world around you. If you find yourself using an app compulsively, or if an app is making you more anxious or angry, just delete it! There are plenty of great apps that can help you, inform you, and connect you with others. If you find an app that serves you, keep it and use it. But if an app is not serving you, or if it is controlling you, then delete it! #5 **Use apps that serve you!** There are thousands of apps that exist to serve you and others, to support our health and happiness, and to connect us with the world. If you want to learn a new language, practice yoga, connect with other witches, or learn how to play the guitar, there are plenty of apps that can help. We should use these apps to serve us, and to make our world a better place. #6 **Resist the patriarchy’s demands for constant technological “progress”!** Right now, companies like Google and Facebook are trying to create chips that can be implanted in our brains, and that will allow us to connect to the patriarchy directly. This would allow corporations and governments to control our minds directly, and would spell the end of humanity’s freedom and creativity. We can resist this by not constantly upgrading our phones, and by not buying useless technology. We can also resist this by learning how to use our phones, how to hack their codes, and how to use their magic against them. We can take back control over the patriarchy’s technology, and we can use it to connect and to serve ourselves and others! #7 **Learn how to use your phone’s freaking camera!** Cameras are one of the patriarchy’s most powerful tools. They can be used to capture our likeness, to track our movements, and to monitor our behavior. But if we learn how to use them correctly, cameras can also be used to connect with each other and with the world, to take beautiful portraits, to create art, and to capture the beauty of life. By learning how to use our phone’s camera correctly, we can turn them into instruments of creativity, joy, and connection. #8 **Use your phone’s camera to connect with and to film the natural world!** Cameras can also be used to capture the beauty of the natural world, and to connect with the plants and animals that surround us. By using our phone’s camera to film the world, we can appreciate its beauty, we can learn about the intricate web of life, and we can better understand how to live in harmony with nature. #9 **Learn about the patriarchy’s hold on your phone, and how it uses it to control you!** The patriarchy has a powerful hold on our phones. By learning how to break this hold, we can break the patriarchy’s hold on our minds. #10 **Join a witches’ coven! (or start your own!)** Witches, communists, and other patriarchy smashers have long understood that the patriarchy is a spell. But we have also understood that the patriarchy can only be broken if we work together. So join a witches’ coven, or start your own! Edit: I received a few mega ULTRA Patriarchy Smashing Tips, which I’ll add below. #11 **Use an app killer!** An app killer is a tool that closes all the apps that you’re not using. This keeps your phone from wasting its energy, and keeps you from getting distracted by useless apps. You can find app killers on the app store. #12 **Turn off your phone when you’re at home or with family** When you’re at home, put your phone in airplane mode or turn it off completely. This keeps your phone from distracting you or hypnotizing you. It also keeps the patriarchy from monitoring your conversations or controlling your behavior. #13 **Use a physical alarm clock and a real planner, and quit using your phone’s alarm clock or calendar** Another way that the patriarchy gets inside our minds is by controlling our calendars and alarm clocks. By using a real planner or calendar, and a physical alarm clock, we can break the patriarchy’s control. We can also sleep better, remember more, and spend less time staring at screens. #14 **Put your phone in a lockbox and only get it out when you really need it!** If you have trouble controlling yourself when it comes to your phone, try putting it in a lockbox! Lockboxes are tools that can only be opened at set times. So if you set your lockbox to only open once every few hours, or only at certain times of the day, you can limit how much time you spend with your phone. #15 **Set boundaries with your phone, and set rules for how you use it!** Another way to take back control is to set boundaries with your phone. For example, you might decide to only use your phone when you’re alone, or to never use it when you’re out in nature. You could also decide to only use certain apps, or to never look at social media. By setting boundaries, we can keep our phones from controlling our lives and minds. #16 **Have a phone detox every now and then!** Finally, try having a phone detox every now and then. Phone detoxes mean turning your phone off for a few days, or for a whole week! It means taking a break from your phone’s magic, and spending your time in nature or with other people. By having a phone detox, we can break the patriarchy’s hold on our minds and emotions. We can reflect on how we want to live our lives, and on how we want to use our phones. And we can come back to our phones with a fresh perspective!

How to use your freaking phone! (friendly patriarchy smashing tip of the day!)

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