I [28F] broke up with my boyfriend [29M] of 9 years and he says it’s because I wouldn’t have sex with him.

Throwaway because I follow him on chambers, (yes, I know that’s dumb. We live together and I didn’t delete it before he moved in). <br><br>I (28F) broke up with my boyfriend “Adam” (29M, let’s call him that because it’s his real name irl) of 9 years last night. <br><br>We started dating at 19, and at the time of the breakup we lived together. <br><br>I had been thinking about breaking up with him for months - since before Christmas- and finally did it last night. <br><br>I didn’t end it because of one thing, it was many. Some big things and some smaller things. <br><br>Here are some of the reasons: <br><br>Making me feel guilty for working. I’m a lawyer and I work a lot of hours. He would make me feel bad all the time for not being at home and contributing in the “right” ways. <br><br>He expected me to clean up after him. I make way more than him. I feel like I already contributed and it wasn’t like we were living in some spotless house before I cleaned it. It was just a normal, lived in house. He would leave trash and dirty dishes everywhere and then get mad at me for not cleaning it up. I would have to remind him that I’m working 12 hour days and can’t always clean up after him. <br><br>He wouldn’t do anything around the house. He would “help” by doing things I didn’t ask him to do, like organizing my closet, but wouldn’t do the things I asked him to do. And then he’d get upset when I didn’t acknowledge all the things he did that I never asked for. <br><br>And finally, the straw that broke the camels back, was when we had an argument and he told me to “get out” when I wouldn’t leave. When I started packing he said he was “just fucking around.” But he sounded serious and it didn’t feel serious so I kept going with the breakup. <br><br>Fast forward to tonight, some of our friends are starting to find out. He went on a tirade to one of our friends about how I wouldn’t fuck him and that’s why he broke up with me. I’m not sure if he’s just gas lighting or what but that is just not true. I was still having sex with him. And we were still doing everything we had always done: oral, PIV sex, employing sex toys, etc. <br><br>I’m at a loss for what to do. I feel like I need to say my side of why we broke up but I also don’t want to be sour or talk bad about him more than I have to. I just can’t believe how awful this whole situation is. <br><br>What do I do? Has anyone else ever went through this? <br><br>TL;DR: broke up with my boyfriend of 9 years and he is telling our friends that it’s because I wouldn’t have sex with him when that’s not true.