My wife is out of town and I’ve got 5 days off work. What’s the most gloriously, unapologetically gut-busting, epic carb monstrosity I can create?

I’ve got 5 days off work, and my wife is out of town. I want tomake the most unapologetically gut-busting, outlandishly blob-sided monstrosity of a dish I can think of.<br><br>What’s the glorious, carb-drenched thing I can create?<br><br>EDIT: I read all the comments. I’m making the Püng IPA Beer Pizza Ravioli Bread. Fuck it. Love you bastards.