When I was a kid, I saw a guy break into my house and steal my mom

When I was 5 years old, I lived with my mom, dad, and grandparents in a house with a front and back yard. I spent most of my time playing in the back, and there was a fence that cut out the neighbor's yard, so they couldn't see me and vice versa. One day, while I was playing in my backyard, I saw a man who was definitely not my dad (he was an extremely tall white guy with black hair and a black beard, and my dad is a little shorter than average and latino) peering over the fence on the other side of our yard like he was trying to look through our windows. He hid behind a bush when he saw me looking at him and I ran inside to tell my dad. He didn't believe me and said I just saw the neighbor. I knew the neighbor, and it wasn't him. I insisted that it wasn't the neighbor, and he still refused to believe me. I went back to playing in my room, but a while later I heard the front door open and shut, and my mom went to answer it. Then she started screaming and it sounded like someone was hitting her. I ran to the front of the house and saw her being dragged away by the same man I saw in the yard. I ran to my room and hid under the bed, and the entire time I could hear the man shouting and smashing things and my dad and grandparents trying to defend themselves. I was too afraid to come out, and I ended up falling asleep. I slept for a long time, and when I finally came out I saw that the front of the house was trashed, and there was police tape everywhere. There were cops and paramedics, but I didn't see my mom. Then I saw my dad with a bandage on his head, and I asked him where my mom was. He told me she was dead. I started crying, and he seemed really surprised that I had been awake for all of it and hadn't said anything. The cops started asking me questions, and I told them everything I remembered. They told my dad that my mom's car had been found half a mile from our house with her dead in the backseat. I still have really bad anxiety from this, and I haven't stopped thinking about my mom for the past 10 years. I'm 15 now, and it's been an extremely hard road to recovery. And to top it all off, the guy who did all of this was never found. I still have this feeling that he's watching me and will attack me again. I try to distract myself with playing field hockey (I'm on a travel team), but it's really hard to focus sometimes. I deactivated my profile, as this is kind of a touchy subject and I don't want my friends to see this post.