Emotion-based decision-making does not work long-term

Alright, I'm going to share an anecdote here because I promised myself that I would. <br><br>I'm transgender and when I was in mid-transition, I got a dog. I didn't have a lot of money, was living paycheck-to-paycheck, and was experiencing mild homelessness at the time. But hey, I got a dog and I took care of her. I was productive, was doing well in work and school, and was very happy to have a companion. But I think you can guess where this is going. Things didn't last. I couldn't afford to pay vet bills, I couldn't keep the dog fed, and I couldn't effectively train her. But I DID manage to do all of those things–until I couldn't. One day, I just felt burnt out. I didn't want to care for a dog anymore. I already had so many other things on my plate, it just wasn't realistic. So I gave her up–today, I'm happy to say she has a good family and a wonderful owner who loves her. <br><br>The point is, I got the dog because I was feeling lonely, was hurt–my family didn't believe that I was transgender, so I essentially didn't have a family anymore. But that's–again–where the problem is. I got the dog because I was unstable. I got the dog because I was hurt, and I wanted something to love me. I didn't get the dog because it was practical or logical; I got the dog because I felt unstable. I got the dog because I wanted a companion. I got the dog because I had compassion and empathy for myself–I realized that I was unhappy and hurt and I wanted to do something about it. I got the dog because I loved myself. <br><br>But because I was unstable, I couldn't take care of myself. I couldn't take care of–or love–myself or another. So the dog thrived for a while, and then she began to starfall. But before the dog started to starfall, I was thriving. I was doing better in work and school. I was more productive. I felt happier. I had a companion and a friend. I was more social–people loved the dog, and I could bring her around. I could bring her to work with me. I could bring her to school with me. Things were–overall–better. But only as long as I could keep them up. Only as long as I could take care of myself. I couldn't. <br><br>This isn't to say I failed. I did not fail. I learned a lesson. I learned that sometimes we believe that we are capable of more things than we really are. But sometimes, we are able to do more than we–ourselves–believe that we are capable of doing. In this way, it can be good to take a risk–every now and again. In this way, it can be good to sometimes do something for yourself. In this way, it can be good to make an emotional decision–every now and then. But it can also be strange–it is as if sometimes, when we choose to do something emotional or instinctual, we don't–a lot of times–think things through. And when we don't think things through–that often leads to hurt. That often leads to pain. That often leads to loss. But sometimes it can also lead to gain. Sometimes it can lead to growth. Sometimes it can lead to knowledge. But growth and knowledge are only good if you can retain them–which means they can only be useful if you can retain them. And sometimes, retention is impossible. Sometimes, knowledge and growth are not as valuable as they feel–sometimes, they cost too much. But sometimes, it is worth it. But only sometimes. <br><br>Sometimes, it is better to just say no. Sometimes, it is better to recognize your own limits. Sometimes, it is better to be strong and do what is right–instead of doing what–temporarily–feels good. Sometimes, it is better to wait until the right time. Sometimes, it is better to believe that–whenever the time is right–it will be better for everyone involved. But sometimes, it is better to be selfish and make an emotional decision. It is necessary–today–to make both instinctual and logical decisions–it is necessary–today–to make decisions that are both selfish and selfless. But it is also necessary–today–to recognize when you are making decisions that are selfish–or selfless. But instinctual decisions are–often–much more selfish than logical decisions–instinctual decisions are often much more–overall–selfish and self-centered. But emotional decisions–on the other hand–are often more instinctual–AND more selfless. But they are not–overall–less selfish. They are not–overall–more selfless. They are often–overall–just more unstable. And that is the problem–instability does not last long. Instability can not be held onto–forever. And–overall–instability leads to–overall–hurt and pain. Which is–overall–a bad thing. But–overall–every decision is unstable. Every decision is selfish. Every decision is selfless. Every decision is both instinctual and logical. Every decision is both–overall–good and bad.<br><br>Edit: Hey! I wrote this post and–a few years later–I finally feel secure enough to get another dog. ?