Strategy for surviving a zombie apocalypse: how I finally won at Dungeons & Dragons

***strategy for surviving a zombie apocalypse:***<br><br>*don't die*<br><br>***<br><br>***Strategy for surviving a zombie apocalypse: how I finally won at Dungeons & Dragons:***<br><br><br>I had never played Dungeons & Dragons before, but I knew the first step to surviving a zombie apocalypse was to not die, which I did a lot. I avoided the initial outbreak. I knew the best way to survive was to have a small group, of two to three other people, and to go out and look for supplies. I didn't die the first three times I went out. I even made it through our first night in a safe house. We only had one zombie get in and kill a couple of people, but we were able to get out with only one casualty. <br><br>Then we were ambushed and I died. <br><br>I started again, new character, avoided the initial outbreak, got a small group, went out for supplies, found a safe house, and only lost one person. Then we were ambushed again and I died. <br><br>I started over, and the same thing kept happening. I would win for a few days, but then I would make one wrong decision and die. <br><br>I lost count of how many characters I had lost. But I was determined to finally beat the game.<br><br>“You have the killer instinct of a kitten.” My Dungeon Master said.<br><br>“You can’t do this,” He said to me. “Maybe you should just quit.”<br><br>“I’ll beat it.” I said.<br><br>“You’ve died two hundred times and have only made it ten days once.”<br><br>“I’ll beat it.” I said.<br><br>“Prove it.”<br><br>“Roll a twenty.” He said.<br><br>“I rolled a twenty.” I said.<br><br>“Roll another one.” He said.<br><br>“I rolled another one.” I said. The DM logged my rolls. I knew he didn’t believe me.<br><br>“Fine. You and your party are at the store. What do you do?”<br><br>“We go in the front and look for supplies,” I said.<br><br>“Okay,” he said. “You see a bunch of shelves, a cash register, and a dead girl tied to a table with blood all over the floor.”<br><br>“Where is everyone else?” I asked.<br><br>“They’re on supply runs. You go in the front because you thought it would be the easiest way in. What do you do?”<br><br>“We go into the back and see if we can find some food and water.”<br><br>“You see a lot of zombie guts and some of your friends. You also hear groaning coming from the walk-in fridge in the back. The music is really loud and you can't see anything. What do you do?”<br><br>I knew we had to get out of there. We had a couple of flashlights, but not enough to see what was happening. “We go into the fridge,” I said.<br><br>“You see a zombie and shoot it,” he said. “It’s pretty gross.”<br><br>“That’s fine,” I said. “What’s next.”<br><br>“You survive the night and go to the hospital.”<br><br>“I don’t want to do that.” I said. I had tried to go to the hospital fifty times before and it always ended with me dying. <br><br>“Do you want to win the game or not?”<br><br>“Yes.”<br><br>“Then go to the hospital.”<br><br>“Strategy for surviving a zombie apocalypse: don’t go to the hospital.”<br><br>“Why not?” He asked.<br><br>“Because there are too many easy ways to die there.” I said.<br><br>“Like what?”<br><br>“They have a lot of sick people there and most of them are dead and have turned into zombies.” I said.<br><br>“That’s not a lot. What else?”<br><br>“The parking lots are really hard to cross. You have a lot of open space with only a few cars to hide behind. Plus they are mostly vacant parking lots because all the people are dead.”<br><br>“That’s not a lot. What else?”<br><br>“There is a road that runs along the side of the hospital with no where to hide except a couple of cars. Plus you can’t see how many zombies are coming because of the bend in the road.”<br><br>“That's not a lot. What else?”<br><br>“There's a really long road that leads to another road which is even longer with no where to hide except a couple of cars. Plus you can't see how many zombies are coming because of the bend in the road.”<br><br>“That’s not a lot. What else?”<br><br>“There are two buildings you have to go through to get inside. They are not connected by a bridge or a tunnel but are completely separate buildings with a road in between them.”<br><br>“That's not a lot. What else?”<br><br>“There's a really long road that leads to another road which is even longer with no where to hide except a couple of cars. Plus you can't see how many zombies are coming because of the bend in the road.”<br><br>“That’s not a lot. What else?”<br><br>“All the doors and windows are either locked or barricaded. Plus the building is really tall which is hard to climb and has no bridges or tunnels connected to it.”<br><br>“That’s not a lot. What else?”<br><br>“The hospital is filled with zombies. There are just as many inside as out. At least outside you can still run if you get over-run. But inside the only place to hide is the elevator, which not all of us can fit in, and the stairs, which is pretty hard to defend since there are a bunch of doors on different floors that we would have to block. Plus, since we are on the outside of the building, we have to walk along the road and through the parking lot to get there. And since we're going from one building to the other, we have to go along that long road twice.”<br><br>“Okay. What do you do?”<br><br>Strategy for surviving a zombie apocalypse: don’t mess with the hospital!” <br><br>“Strategy for surviving a zombie apocalypse: don’t mess with the hospital!”<br><br>“What?”<br><br>“Strategy for surviving a zombie apocalypse: don’t mess with the hospital!”<br><br>“I know,” he said. “I didn’t write the rules.”<br><br>“Strategy for surviving a zombie apocalypse: don’t mess with the hospital!”<br><br>“Yes! You win! You finally beat the game.”<br><br>I stood up from my seat and danced around. I felt like I had really won something. I doubt I ever will be in a situation where a zombie apocalypse really happens. But I know how to survive it.<br><br>Strategy for surviving a zombie apocalypse: don’t mess with the hospital!<br><br>Strategy for surviving a zombie apocalypse: don’t die!<br><br>Strategy for surviving a zombie apocalypse: have a small group!<br><br>Strategy for surviving a zombie apocalypse: go out and look for supplies!<br><br>Strategy for surviving a zombie apocalypse: find a safe place to sleep!<br><br>Strategy for surviving a zombie apocalypse: stay vigilant!