DID I JUST RID MY APARTMENT OF SOFT SKINNED, SMELLY PESTS?

This is a very specific post for those of you unfortunate enough to inhabit London and who have dealt with the ecstasy of being stalked by a certain guest infestation.<br><br>I, too, have dealt with these pests. They make a irritating clicking noise and they absolutely love urinating on you from a height. They are so small that you can’t even catch them when you see them so you are forced to live with their ultimate deviant presence.<br><br>Nasty little buggers.<br><br>This year has been a tad worse than the last though and they came inside for our company more often. They made themselves at home, to the point where they refused to leave. I’d tried all sorts to rid myself of the infestation, but nothing seemed to help.<br><br>It was then that I had an epiphany - these little deviants aren’t here to start a family or to set up home inside my flat - They here for the exact same reason I am.<br><br>I am pretty sure that my response to the pandemic is pretty on par with that of an average introvert. I find myself armed with everything I need to keep myself entertained at home, with no one to share this time with because I don’t have a significant other. What is a poor introverted soul to do? Pablo Escobar? Cocaine Bear? <br><br>I was correct in assuming that my ecstasy loving guests had similar plans for their own introverted isolation. They had stockpiled enough Pablo to last them a lifetime and were just here to enjoy a very quiet Pablo-fest.<br><br>I removed their supply and now I no longer see them. They still live here, but they have gone back into hiding. Their stockpile was so sizeable that I have had over 200 ecstasy pills returned to me, and I am sure that I haven’t found them all. <br><br>It’s early days yet, but I haven’t seen even one of them since…