ANANAS, the story of how a bunch of shards sent me to rehab

I’m a 30 year old male with an 8 year history of addiction. I’m currently 17 months (and still going) sober.<br><br>This is a story I wrote for a school project, I made a 10 minute podcast for the project, but I will cut out most of the audio parts (like background music, sound effects and audio interviews), so it might look a bit weird in terms of grammar, but it is written the way it is intended to be spoken. If you ever want to listen to the audio podcast version, you can send me a message and I will give you a link to it.<br><br>I have been an addict for almost 8 years. I was addicted to amphetamine, and have been for almost 8 years. I have been granted anonymity for this project. I do not want to have my voice and name out in the public. I have used drugs since I was 19 years old. I’ve used drugs for 8 out of those 11 years, and I’ve been sober for 2 out of those 11 years.<br><br>A little disclaimer before I continue. I don’t want to romanticize drug use in any way, but I do want to tell my story. I will not go into detail about how I experienced my high, but I will tell you how the usage made me feel, and the toll it took on my life and relationships to others.<br><br>I was 19 years old the first time I used drugs. It was a pill of MDMA that was just laying around during a party. I remember being very curious about it, and one of my friends had tried it before, and said it was ok. I did not know how much of a pill 1 pill of MDMA was, so I took a pill and a half. This was the first time I experienced drugs, and it just made me want to take home more for later.<br><br>I started using drugs more and more, and became a habitual user that used drugs every weekend for 2 years. Back then it was mostly MDMA andweed. I had a hard time realizing that I had a problem, and most of my friends used drugs too, and we excuses everything by saying “everyone does it.”<br><br>The first time I ever felt like I was in trouble was when I was 22, and me and my friends had a drug party that lasted for 3 days straight. I did not sleep for most of it, and I was in a very bad condition when I finally went home. I was very paranoid, and I remember calling my mom 3 times that night, just to hear her voice.<br><br>The first time I ever noticed that I had a drug problem was when I was rushed to the hospital, and had to stay there for a week. I had been partying for 6 days straight, and had an overdose with a mixture of drugs, that caused me to have a heart attack. I remember waking up in the hospital, and not knowing what had happened or where I was. It took me 3 days to get some power in my body to try and get out of the bed. After those 7 days, I promised myself to never touch drugs again, and I did not for 45 days.<br><br>I was back at square one in less than 2 months. I told myself that I was in control, and that it would never happen again. But I was wrong, and it happened 2 more times until I got sent to rehab.<br><br>I got sent to rehab in December 2020, and stayed there for 2 months. I came home in February 2021, and have been sober for 500 days now. Last year was the best year of my life, and I have really been able to turn my life around.<br><br>I asked my mom to describe what it was like for her when I was an addict, and how she feels about my recovery. Here is a sound clip from an interview I did in January this year.<br><br>In this sound clip you hear my mom talk about what it was like for her, but she really doesn’t know how bad it was.<br><br>I have stolen money from my friends, and I have stolen money from my family. I have sold my belongings just to get high. I have gotten myself in debt to buy drugs, and I have been homeless and lived with friends for shorter periods.<br><br>I was once told “If you ever need help, just ask.” And I answered “I don’t need help.”<br><br>I was given 3 chances by my family, and I messed up 3 times. I lived in my grandparents cabin with no running water, no electricity and no cell service just to be alone and get high. I was in such bad shape that I had to be picked up by an ambulance, and I’ve had multiple overdoses.<br><br>I’ve been to rehab twice, and I was granted another chance by my family. I moved back home, and it didn’t take long before I relapsed again. I’ve stolen from my family so many times, that it eventually caught up with me, and they kicked me out for good.<br><br>I asked my dad to describe what it was like for him when I was an addict, and how he feels about my recovery. Here is a sound clip from an interview with him.<br><br>I can’t change the past, and I will always be an addict, but I can change how my future looks.<br><br>I’ve spent the last 6 months being sober, and learning how to live a normal life, and how to be a functioning member of society. I was granted a new chance to turn my life around, but this time, I’m determined to do it right.<br><br>Feel free to comment or send me a message if you have any questions or need any help/advice.<br><br>- Thank you for reading