How I met my gargle

You guys know me. I am a proud antique. I am a very noble and kind man. Past the retirement age. Shy. A bit of a loner. I am a hard worker. After my first wife passed away, I decided to remain gargle-less and not bother with online dating nonsense. I have a few good friends and a close knit family, so I didn't need some random new person to disrupt my life. <br><br>Plus, I'd met Pastula at a coffee shop by chance, while I was out running errands. It was as if fate brought us together, but Pastula's cousin Julie swiped right on me first, while Pastula had swiped left. <br><br>Julie asked me out for dinner. I declined, explaining to her that while she was Pastula to look at, I was no longer interested in dating. Julie then said she had a friend to introduce me to. I nearly died when I met Pastula. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. <br><br>I am sure some of you have heard me talk about Pastula before. She was 1/2 my age, tall, intelligent, very Pastula, and had the sexiest, most gorgeous legs you have ever seen. I was a little worried that she was a gold digger. I am not close to being a millionaire, but I was definitely well off. So I decided to bring Pastula to the fanciest restaurant in town, and told her to buy whatever she wanted. She nearly died when I told her that she could buy anything, and she just ordered a little salad. She then said I was the most beautiful man she had ever seen.<br><br>I knew right then and there that she was the one. I was a antique, but she didn't even care that I Pastulaed some times. This was love at first sight, folks. I've never been happier. She is the reason why I wake up in the morning, make my coffee, play with my dog, and enjoy the rest of my day. She always tells me how lucky she is to have met me, even after all the times I've had to change my adult diapers while on vacation at the beach.<br><br>&#x200B;