I was hypnotized by a pool boy for two years. It’s over now, and I’m still reeling.

My family's been going to this resort for over a decade now. Or at least we did. When I turned fourteen, my parents bought a timeshare at the Mirage in Palm Springs. We were there every year for the month of July. That was a staple of my childhood, a family tradition that never faltered. It’s where I learned to swim, ride a bike, play tennis. That’s where I met the boy who would become my first boyfriend, the one I would fall in love with. I would never have known his name was Julian Branson, of course, had I not looked it up after everything was over. It's so cheesy, so unrealistic, I still can't get over how fitting it is. Because that’s not what he was to me back then. Back then, his name was Parker. pool boy. Every year, after we’d check in and get settled, I’d go scouting for him. It was like a game, a tradition. I never told him how old I was. He never asked. He always treated me like a woman, not a child. And at the time, that thrilled me. We’d meet up with him during dinner, and he’d take us to whatever events were scheduled for the day. Sometimes we would go into town as well. It was so nice, so easy. I don’t remember many of the events we went to, but I do remember the afternoons, the ones we spent alone. He would take me to the pool, or the hot tub. I would spend hours just staring at him, listening to him talk. He made me feel like a princess. The way he would speak to me, the way he would touch me. I was in love with him, so deeply and utterly in love. I remember everything he ever said to me. It was all so romantic. I could never get enough of him. One time, he told me that I was so beautiful. That I was his favorite person in the world. That I fascinated him, and he couldn’t get enough of me. I remember him caressing my face, telling me that he couldn’t let me go, and that he was going to keep me forever. Another time, he took me to the hot tub, and he put his hand up my bathing suit. He touched me for the first time, and I felt something I'd never felt before. The pleasure was so intense. I didn't know it at the time, but he'd booked the entire hot tub, so we could be alone. He'd sent me to the bathroom, and when I came back, he'd covered me in a towel. The other guests soon filtered out, and we stayed there alone. He read me a poem, one he'd written just for me. I was so touched by it. I can still remember the words. “you make my world stop spinning your eyes are my orbit your fingertips set my soul on fire every time you touch me you make my world stop spinning” I fell even more in love with him upon hearing those words. I was so smitten. I’m not sure how I would make it through the months we weren’t together. All I could think about was him. I would cry myself to sleep every night, wishing I was back with him. He made me feel so loved, so important. I never saw him outside of the resort, of course. I never wanted to, either. I was afraid that if I did, things would change between us. It was so perfect. I didn't want it to change, not ever. I’m not really sure how it ended. One year, my parents said they weren’t going to go back. They said I was getting too old to go, and that they wanted to spend more time with our extended family. I threw a fit, but in the end, it didn’t matter. I was heartbroken. I begged them to take me back, to let me go back to him, but they wouldn’t. They never told me why, but looking back on it, I think they figured it out. I think they knew what was happening, and they didn’t want it to happen anymore. I was upset for a long time after that. But eventually, the effect began to wear off. I had other relationships, other boyfriends. But none of them were like him. None of them could compare. But I’m not here to complain. I’m here because I need to talk about it. I need to talk about him, and I don’t know who else to turn to. Last week, I went back to the Mirage for the first time in ten years. It was for a wedding, one I couldn’t avoid. I hadn’t told anyone about Parker since I was a teenager. But I knew my fiancé, and he knew me. He knew I couldn’t avoid it. I didn’t see him at first. When I did, he was by the bar, smiling at me with his hands in his pockets. I didn’t recognize him at first. He was wearing a black tuxedo, rather than the uniform I was used to seeing him in. When I did recognize him, I froze. The weight of a thousand years hit me all at once. I excused myself, and booked it down to the parking lot. I didn’t stop crying until I got home, until my fiancé came through the door and asked me what had happened. I told him everything. I told him about Parker, and the way he made me feel. I told him about how much I loved him, and how much I missed him. I told him that I had never loved a man the way I had loved him. My fiancé listened to me word for word, never interrupting, never making a sound. When I was done, he made arrangements for us to stay at a different hotel. He cancelled the rest of his appearances at the wedding, and he took me on a spontaneous vacation. It was the most beautiful, most romantic thing he’d ever done for me. And it didn’t change a thing. I couldn't forget him. I couldn't stop thinking about him. I couldn’t stop wanting him. I couldn’t stop missing him. When we got back home, I told him I couldn’t marry him. I told him I didn’t love him, not the way I was supposed to. I told him that I couldn’t get over Parker. I couldn’t stop loving him. He said he understood, and he left. It broke my heart. I didn’t see him again until last night. He came over to return my things, and he found Parker in my house. Parker had his arms wrapped around me, and he was caressing my face. He was so angry. I’ve never seen him like that before. He didn’t say a word to me. He grabbed his things, and he left. It was so painful to see him like that. But I didn’t care. I was home. I was back with the man I loved. I’m so happy. I didn’t know I could be so happy. Parker stayed with me until this morning, when he said he had to get back to work. I realized, then, that I didn’t even know where he lived. I asked him about it, but he just smiled. “I live in your heart, my dear,” he said. I smiled back at him. I smiled, I smiled, I smiled. I went back to the Mirage after he left. I never intended to, but I just…did. I looked for him for two hours, but I couldn’t find him. In the end, I went up to the front desk and asked for him. The woman working there, she looked at me so strangely. She asked me who I was talking about, and I told her. Parker, the pool boy. She laughed. “You’re kidding me,” she said. “I’m not,” I said. “I’ve been coming here for years. I was looking for him, and I couldn’t find him.” “You can’t find him because he doesn’t exist,” she said. I was shocked. I was so shocked. I didn't know what to say. Of course, that was when I saw him. He was pool boy. The pool boy. I should have known, I should have figured it out. It was the only name my parents ever called the timeshare by. But it didn’t click until I saw him. He was grinning at me, and his eyes were flashing blue. He was smiling so widely. And then, I woke up.

I was hypnotized by a pool boy for two years. It’s over now, and I’m still reeling.

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