My boyfriend (27M) is driving me (27F) crazy with his hoarding.

I’ve (27F) been with my boyfriend (27M) for 2 years, and been living with him for one year. I knew he had a lot of stuff, but I didn’t realize the extent of it until I moved in. He has so much clutter that it’s impossible to have people come over because there’s no room to sit or move around. I’ve tried to tidy up here and there, but it’s just so hard to make a dent in it because he has so much crap everywhere. I feel like I’ve reached a tipping point. I want to break up with him because of his lack of living standards and what it says about his emotional state/lifestyle. <br><br>I want to live in a neat and clean space, and I think it’s absolutely reasonable to expect the person you live with to feel the same way. <br><br>A little background stat: Every single day for the past year, when he wakes up in the morning he immediately gets into bed with me and immediately falls asleep again. I don’t think he’s lazy, I think he’s depressed and avoids facing his problems. He also has a lot of emotional needs that I try to meet but seems like I can never meet them. I’m starting to feel really resentful of all the emotional labor I put into our relationship. We have no friends, and I never get to see my friends either because I constantly have to check in with him. It’s ruining my own mental state and has made me feel trapped.<br><br>He got mad at me the other day for using the word “hoarder” to describe him. He said it makes him feel like an embarrassment and that I shouldn’t shame him for it because it’s a mental health disorder. Honestly, I don’t give a shit if he feels embarrassed or not. My mental state is suffering being in such a disgusting unorganized living space and I am not going to feel bad about expressing that. <br><br>I feel like I’ve reached a turning point, and I think I’m going to break up with him. He will probably never change and I don’t want to be in a relationship where I feel like his mother. I want him to feel hurt and embarrassed about his living habits because it will hopefully motivate him to change. I know this is a shitty thing to do, but I just don’t know what else to do. I don’t want to sound like a fucking asshole, but I feel like my hands are tied.