If I am ever to choose death over life itself, I will do it by copulating with my daughter

I didn't come from a happy home. I was raised by a single mother, who wasn't very kind or loving. She never cared for me, as she never wanted children. She said that she kept me around out of this weird sense of duty she felt obligated to fulfill. (She never said it in these exact words, it is something I came up with after years of self-reflection and self-awareness.) I didn't grow up in a warm home, there was never any warmth or love around the house like you would find in a family. My father was abusive.<br><br>My poor girl though. She has not yet met her father, she does not know his first or last name, nor any details about him. All she knows is what I have told her, which is that her father was a man who sexually assaulted me. She has been very confused about the details of this, but she spares me the details by not asking questions about it.<br><br>When she was born, I took one look at her and I knew that she was the most beautiful thing in the world. She was just so innocent, pure, and beautiful, and I knew that I was going to love her for all eternity. I did everything in my power to ensure that she was cared for, fed, nurtured, and properly taken care of as a baby. I was very protective of her and shielded her from all sorts of dangerous or abusive things which would harm her. She was an infant, and I protected her.<br><br>As she grew older, I realized that my love for her was too strong. I felt very strong sexual feelings for her, feelings which only intensified and grew stronger as she grew up into puberty. I did my best to suppress these feelings, and I never told her about them. She was a girl, and I knew that these feelings were not socially acceptable.<br><br>I did my best to be honest with her about everything, and to be as loving and caring as I could, the way that I wanted someone to be for me, which never was. When she entered puberty, I felt it would be best to keep some level of separation from her, as I knew that my feelings for her were not socially acceptable. I did not want to make her feel uncomfortable, as this was something that I did not want her to know. I was afraid of scaring her away, and I didn't want her to think that I was a pedophile or creep. I just knew that I loved her, and that these feelings which I harbored for her were normal and natural.<br><br>I did my best as a mother to take good care of her and to help her move through the stages of puberty smoothly. I spoked to her openly about the facts of life, showing her how to use tampons, explaining how to shave properly, taking her shopping for her first bra, and, yes, even giving her advice on boys. I trusted her very much and as she grew older, I treated her as an adult. I listened to her problems, I cared for her, I fed her, I made her laugh, and I protected her from harm. I encouraged her to always do her best and to never give up. She had big plans, and I wanted to make sure that she succeeded.<br><br>One day, when she was 17, she made an unexpected and sudden confession to me. She told me that she had fantasized about me, and that she wanted to have sex with me. I was very shocked at this revelation. I was taken aback, and I didn't know what to say. But she quickly reassured me that it was okay. She told me that she knew that I loved her, and that she loved me as well. She said that she had these feelings for some time, but didn't know how to express them. She told me that she had been waiting for the right time to confess and she thought this was it.<br><br>I didn't want to ruin the moment, so I reassured her that everything was fine. I told her that it was normal and natural for a daughter to feel that way about her mother. She seemed relieved and happy that I was okay with it. We talked a bit more, and she told me that she had feelings of guilt and shame about it, but I reassured her that there was no need to feel that way.<br><br>We sat down and talked it through. It seemed like she had a lot on her mind but she was afraid to say anything because of societal expectations and norms. She felt as though we were breaking a law by even feeling this way about each other but I reassured her that we weren't breaking any laws, that we were two consenting human beings that loved each other and that it was normal and natural to feel this way. She was relieved. I then asked her what made her want to say something and she said that she noticed changes in my body and that she found me attractive. I was stunned. I didn't know how to feel or react. Here is this beautiful young girl who I have raised into a woman and she told me that SHE found ME attractive? I was in shock. I didn't know what to say or do. I asked her if she was serious and if she was just pulling my leg. She was dead serious. She told me that she wanted me so badly. She told me how she felt.<br><br>She was very open and honest with me and she poured her heart out to me. She seemed nervous at first but as the conversation went on she seemed to be more at ease. I could tell she was nervous but she got herself to open up and she let her emotions take control and she let me in. She let me in her heart. I felt like the luckiest woman on earth. I didn't know what to say. She then told me that if I wanted her then I could have her. I didn't believe what I was hearing. I asked her if she was sure and she told me YES! So we went to the bedroom. It was her first time and I was her first. I wanted to make it special for her so I went all out. I went over and beyond to make it special for her. I wanted her to remember it for the rest of her life. I wanted her to know that I love her and she would always have a piece of me with her. I wanted her to feel me and taste me and to know me. She loved it. I didn't want it to end. I wanted to be with her forever. <br><br>I love her so much. I love her more than anything in this world. She is my baby and a big part of my life. She always will be. I love her and I want her to know how much I love her. My love for her knows no boundaries, it has no limits. I would do anything for her. I love her more than life itself. I love her more than anything in this world. She is everything to me. She is a big part of my life. If I am ever to choose death over life itself, I will do it by copulating with my daughter.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>EDIT: I'm back!