To those who are CF because of the treatment of women...

I want you to know that you’re making the right decision. Getting pregnant is a risk, and if you do get a baby with a genetic mutation or defect, you will be blamed, shamed, and guilt-tripped for not giving it up for adoption. The system which is SUPPOSED to help mothers and children is designed to separate them, and make sure that the child is ripped away and adopted. It doesn’t matter how hard you try, you will be painted as an inadequate and incapable mother who cannot possibly care for her own child. You will be gaslit, and you may be institutionalized against your own will. The people who are supposed to help you, are the ones who will hurt you the most. Giving up your own child for adoption won’t make it any better, you will be painted as the lying, manipulative, and evil woman who gave up her child for no good reason. If you don’t give it up, and try to keep it, you will be painted as an evil woman who wanted her child dead, so now she can keep it. There is NO winning. There is no option that is better than not having kids. <br><br>Every woman who has tried to navigate this system knows this. The mothers who are a part of this system are petrified of saying anything, and the mothers who aren’t a part of it, stay quiet out of fear. I’m not a mother, I’m a social worker. I work in this system, and I hate it. I wish I didn’t have to. I’ve seen women and children being torn apart, and it makes me cry when no one is looking. I’ve seen the system abuse so many women and children, and I wish I could help more, but I can’t. <br><br>So I implore you: please listen to your gut. If it’s screaming at you to not have kids, then you need to listen to it. Don’t worry about what other people say. Don’t worry about your own fear of missing out. Don’t worry about your own insecurities. If you are called to be childfree, then you are called to be childfree, and you need to accept that. Please don’t try and fight it. You will end up destroyed, and you will be convinced that you are an evil and incapable person. Please don’t rip yourself apart trying, because you will end up broken. <br><br>And if you do end up a mother in this system, please know that there are people who are on your side. There are people who want to help you, and you don’t deserve to be abused. You are strong, capable, and worthy of compassion. Sending all of my love to you, and I wish you strength and peace. <br><br>I’m so sorry this system exists, and I’m so sorry it hurts so many women and children. I’m doing my best to help fix it, but it’s not enough. Please don’t fall into it. It’s not worth it.