I've been sober for 12 years so I think it's time to kill myself

I got sober when I was 25 and I thought that it would solve everything but it really didn't. I started out on heroin, xanax, and dmt when I was in my late teens, and later got into coke and other stuff. I used to get high to cope with everything, but it didn't stop me from losing my girlfriend, coming close to getting arrested multiple times, pissing on my mom, getting a huge scar on my forehead, being hospitalized, etc. After I recently got shorted a bag of heroin I decided to quit for good. Eight years later and I am still as angry and anxious as ever. I feel like I'm not really living anymore, even though my life has gotten way better. I used to be on the verge of death the whole time, but now I'm not. When I stopped drinking, I thought that I would stop having anxiety, but it really didn't stop. I started going to therapy and got a job at a big company and even got an awesome girlfriend, but I've come to realize that none of it ever really fixed anything, just made it easier to bear. I've come to the conclusion that I'm probably just going to kill myself, and I'm not really sure when. I've thought about it for years but now I'm seriously considering it. <br>I don't know what I did wrong to end up like this, but I think it's time to call it quits. <br>I'm out of luck.