My ex-con father convinced the world that he's the messiah. What now?

The sun was setting on the lake in front of my small cabin, as I stared blankly at the TV mounted to the wall in front of me. The news had just started and the headline hit me like a ton of bricks. I read it myself 3 times before I believed what I was actually seeing.<br><br>My ex-con father was running for president. He was going to be the next president. He had already won.<br><br>Why the hell would I have a problem with this? Well, his name got him there. It's Jesus Christ. <br><br>You might be thinking, "So what? He has a famous name. Whats his platform?" Thats not the problem. My father is convinced that he is Jesus. He wears a white robe, shepherd's staff in hand, everywhere he goes, even the debate stage. He actually got into a fistfight with the previous president, after the previous president called him crazy for claiming that he was the second coming of Jesus Christ.<br><br>The debate in question? I now regret missing due to the rope which I was no longer attached to, which was hanging in the rafters of the auditorium, for I had chickened out at last second after seeing his opponent strangle a man who just wanted a selfie, moments before.<br><br>As if my father's name and delusions were not enough to trouble myself and the voters with, He is also an ex-con. He was charged with suspicion of murder in the first degree, was convicted of obstruction of justice, tampering with evidence and first degree assault, and was given a life sentence. He served 1/5th of this sentence before escaping the prison by walking out the front door.<br><br>And now he's president.<br><br>He ran on an independent ticket, and even convinced the justice department that he was the second coming of the lord almighty. He was cleared of all charges, since the lord is infallible after all. He spent a year doing stand up comedy, travelling the world and doing public speaking engagements at various churches, before deciding to run for office.<br><br>And now he's president. My father is president. What do I tell my children? Daddy, your grandfather is the most powerful man in the world. I know he's a convicted felon and that he thinks he's Jesus, but he's a nice guy. He's fun, and he will protect you.<br><br>What do I tell my neighbors? How do I explain myself to people at work? I know he thinks he's Jesus, but he's not that bad.<br><br>The only thing that he has done as president, is open the refugee camps to illegal immigrants. And he's closed the borders.<br><br>And he's held press conferences in the form of miracles. He turned water into wine at the conference confirming his election win, before opening his arms and walking off a balcony to the ground below, before walking back up to the podium and saying, "I hope that assures you of my power, and will to use it. I am Jesus Christ."<br><br>He's also been the target of a beheading attempt by ISIS, which he survived. He's been shot at and stabbed, and blown up. Nothing has hurt him. The impeachment process is currently pending.<br><br>So. What do I do? How do I stay out of the public eye, while my father is president Jesus? And how do I explain this to my kids?<br><br>My name is Tommy Christ. I am the son of Jesus Christ, lord and savior of mankind, diviner of justice and rightful ruler of Earth.<br><br>My father wears sandals to the office everyday, and holds conferences in the church. He has declared himself an infallible ruler, beyond reproach. And he's declared that his justice will bring him the head of every rightful criminal. By the sword, or by the head of the snake.<br><br>And no-one has dared stand in his way, lest they be damned to hell. For this is the word of the lord.