i need help understanding something

i posted a post with some questions about fat and dating and it got a lot of responses, so thank you so much for that. i appreciate the honesty and the time you all put in to respond. <br><br>i feel like i'm a bit still confused about some things though, and in part it's because i have a hard time believing that guys would be interested in a borderline morbidly obese (or morbidly obese?) woman in her 40s (who is also tattooed and pierced)!!! <br><br>i am also very much aware of the fact that i'm 100 pounds heavier than i was 5 years ago. this is mostly because of having been in a verbally abusive relationship where i basically did all of the housekeeping and cooking and childrearing for 5 years (in addition to working full time). i was exhausted all the time, lacked motivation and support, and didn't have the time or energy. after that relationship ended (in part because he cheated on me and in part because he realized he is gay), i met a guy who is super into me, in every way, and supports me in every way. he is my best friend, my favorite person to hang out with, he is supportive of my career (and is also my manager at work) and is so kind and thoughtful. he is, i feel, the exact opposite of my ex. he's really insecure about his own body, so he tries his best to not say anything negative about mine. thing is, i know how much weight i've gained, and it's hard to *not* notice. <br><br>anyway! knowing that there is such a large weight difference makes me a bit uncomfortable, especially when we are being intimate. i know i'm not the same weight that i was 5 years ago (and he's not the same weight he was 5 years ago either, but he's much closer to that weight than i am). he is also a lot more self-conscious about his body weight than i am about mine, which sometimes makes me feel like i'm being selfish by being so focused on weight stuff.<br><br>my questions are:<br><br>1. do you think he would be comfortable with me being this weight? i know he doesn't like to talk about it because he has body insecurities of his own, but i can tell that he misses my old body. he used to be so confident in his own body, and he used to love mine, but he doesn't talk about that as much anymore. i can tell it hurts him that i've gained so much, but he's afraid to bring it up because he knows it hurts me when he brings up his own weight. he's lost a lot of his confidence and i feel like it's mostly due to the fact that i got bigger<br><br>2. if i were to start losing weight, would he be excited about that or upset by it? i know he doesn't like it when i talk about trying to lose weight, but that's because i've mostly been talking about drastic weight loss methods that are bad for my health. i know he wants me to be healthy above all, and i feel like he's mostly worried that i'll do something drastic in an attempt to try and lose a lot of weight. <br><br>3. should i be worried about him cheating on me? i know he loves and appreciates me as i am now, but i also know that guys in general are really into skinny women, and i know that when we are intimate he is mostly touching my face, breasts, and legs, and keeps his hands away from my stomach. <br><br>4. do you think it's possible that he would rather date a thin woman? i know he appreciates how confident i am, but i also know that he is a guy and guys tend to like thin women more<br><br>5. should i be worried that he's hiding something from me? i know he doesn't lie to me, but i'm worried that he might be hiding how he really feels about my body. <br><br>i'm sorry if these are dumb questions, it's just that i have a hard time understanding this because i'm a woman, and i know that women have different preferences when it comes to men's bodies than men do when it comes to women's bodies.<br><br>tl;dr i'm feeling a bit insecure about my relationship and i need some advice from guys. thanks in advance for the time y'all put into responding!! :))