I have to kill myself in 2 days and I’m terrified

I don’t even know why I’m writing this I guess I just need to talk to someone. I’m a new drug addict I’ve only been doing them for a few months. I started doing perc 10 and xanax and then one day I met a guy who introduced me to heroin and meth. I was already in a dark place when I met this guy and I just decided to do it and I loved it. I get high and drink everyday and I feel really good for a little while but then I start to feel really sick and that’s when I realize I have to do more of it to feel good again. I’ve borrowed money from one of the drug dealers that I buy off of and I can’t pay him back. I don’t have any money so I have to pay him back another way. I have to go out to the middle of nowhere in the desert and I have to kill some guys and then I’m done. I’m out of debt and I get free drugs for life. I’m so scared to do this though. I’m not sure what to do it’s just me against the world. I wish somebody could help me but I don’t want to feel like a burden so I guess I’m just gonna end up killing myself when the time comes.